


white noise

by 99yeon



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: F/F, Hunger Games AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-07-09
Packaged: 2018-11-16 12:12:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 35,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11252952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/99yeon/pseuds/99yeon
Summary: They're beautiful.





	1. stronger

PART ONE

 

17.6 / 2355 / District Ten carriage

 

"Jihyo-unnie?" Tzuyu peeks at Jihyo from her double bed, the covers tucked up to just below her chin. "A-are you awake?"

 

"Yeah," Jihyo hums, "What is it?" she knows Tzuyu's restless - she's been turning back and forth in her bed for the past hour, making little distressed sounds into her pillow which she thinks Jihyo can't hear. Tzuyu must be so homesick, Jihyo thinks ruefully. She's never been very good at hiding her feelings.

 

Tzuyu sighs, listless. "Will we be together? In the arena, I mean?" she blushes hard before Jihyo has time to respond, scrabbling for words, "I mean, only if you want to, of course. You don't have to agree just because I asked you here-"

 

She sounds like it's nothing more than a high school dance, something ditzy and lighthearted like that, instead of a very real request to watch each others' backs when everyone else will be trying to sink their knives in. Jihyo swallows past the lump in her throat, willing herself to be strong. She's thought about this enough, she reminds herself.

 

Not while Tzuyu is here. She has to be strong for Tzuyu, has to put up a good front for the younger girl. Tzuyu's relying on her to stay calm, and Jihyo can't let her down by breaking down like she did in private after her name was reaped. That had been all sorts of messy and undignified and embarrassing, too many emotions with too little time for Jihyo to take stock of them.

 

"We can stay close together," Jihyo says. "I'll protect you as well as I can."

 

"Don't say that just to be nice, unnie," Tzuyu protests. "I don't mind."

 

"I mean what I said," Jihyo repeats, firmly this time, and turns over in her bed.

 

-

 

18.6 / 0900 / District Ten carriage

 

Their train rolls into the capitol half an hour after their escort, a charismatic woman with a gushing head of dark blue hair who calls herself Hwasa, rouses them. Jihyo hates to admit it, but she slept better than expected - the beds are the best quality she's ever had the luxury of experiencing in her life.

 

Tzuyu doesn't seem to have enjoyed the same dreamless sleep, but she doesn't look like she wants to talk about it, pressing past Jihyo to grab a plastic-wrapped disposable toothbrush off the shelf. She knocks over the tube of toothpaste as her hand moves, fishes it from the sink with her eyes downcast.

 

The younger girl greets Hwasa and their mentor (an equally flashy man whose name might be Jonghyun or Jongin but is probably Jonghyun, Jihyo doesn't catch it well) when they've washed themselves up, and Jihyo wonders if she somehow turned invisible overnight.

 

Tzuyu hasn't so much as smiled in her direction since they woke up, and she wonders if it's just her steeling herself for the day ahead. Maybe she doesn't want any distractions.

 

Panem - the real panem - sprawls out before them as their train passes through the first set of gates, past a gold-plated sign that declares panem to be only a mile ahead. The city is breathtaking, neatly groomed nature giving way to spilling technology and architecture Jihyo recognizes having being inspired by the ancient romans. They look like the architecture on the pages Jihyo'd traced over countless times in her childhood, when they were her only possession. This is living proof of her dreams, the massive domes and arches filling out the land.

 

Skyscrapers soar up into the heavens, too many floors to count, and even Tzuyu is lost in the magic of it, pressing her face up against the window with a small sigh, fogging up the glass. Jihyo can barely tear her eyes away from the younger girl to look outside, and she hears Hwasa huff a laugh at Jihyo's obvious lovesickness.

 

"It's beautiful," Tzuyu says, and Hwasa nods distractedly, making a sound of assent. She can't be too impressed by the capitol herself, having been born and raised here. Jihyo can't imagine being starstruck by her own hometown, with its fields of grazing cattle and mares to the end of the horizon. She wonders if Hwasa had pressed her nose up against the glass when she'd travelled to District Ten on reaping day, raised her eyebrows at the sheer dilapidation.

 

Maybe she'd laughed about it with Jonghyun, who Jihyo imagines left his district lifestyle for a life of class and decadence the moment he won his games. Jihyo pins her sights on the man, who's knocking back a shot of some alcohol, and wonders if he would ridicule his own birthplace, if it lost meaning after he'd been exposed to the beauty of the capitol. (maybe she'll have a chance to experience this disillusioning for herself.)

 

"Some of the other tributes are already here," Hwasa notes, standing and pressing down her immaculate outfit. "There are people waiting at the station, girls. Smile and wave! You never know which one of them might be wealthy." of course, sponsors. Hwasa tosses her lipsticked smile in Jihyo's general direction.

 

Jihyo smiles back weakly, suddenly very queasy. She can make out the general buzz of people waiting, sees cameras and microphones and heads of brightly coloured hair styled in almost clownish ways.

 

The fanfare surrounding the games is even worse than she'd imagined.

 

"Tzuyu," she croaks out, and Tzuyu draws herself away from the window to watch her. "Let's get ready. They're waiting for us."

 

The carriage trembles, and Tzuyu nods, suddenly a lot more nervous than she was looking out of the window. If she strains her ears, Jihyo thinks she can hear the shutters.

 

Tzuyu comes to stand beside Jihyo, and without knowing, she weaves her fingers with Jihyo's. Jihyo feels her pulse in her wrist beating softly against her own hand, and grips harder, as if it'll help Tzuyu stay grounded, stay here with her.

 

"We'll be fine," Jihyo promises, not sure what she's saying. "We'll be fine."

 

-

 

18.6 / 0905 / great hall

 

"Have you seen the other tributes?"

 

Nayeon raises her eyebrows silently. Sana keeps talking, flighty and restless as ever, and Nayeon takes joy in the fact that Sana never seems to stop. It gets irritating, has been irritating a few times since they met last night, but whatever. It lets Nayeon talk less, letting Sana be her spokesperson like this. Sana knows her well, despite the two having only met twelve hours ago.

 

"District Five just arrived," Sana says, her voice dropping to a hushed whisper as if she's conspiring with Nayeon. "And I hear she's a force to be reckoned with."

 

"Is that so?" Nayeon mentally scrolls through the tributes who were reaped, clinking her spoon back into her bowl of cereal. District Five isn't a Career district, so Nayeon wonders how much of a dynamo this girl must be to earn Sana's awe. "The scrawny guy? Kang Euigeon?"

 

"No." Sana has a way of moving that makes her look squirmy, restless, like a five year-old who's had too much sugar. She looks like she might start running around any instant to burn the excess energy in her bones. "The girl, Hirai Momo."

 

Nayeon grimaces, trying to call up a mental image of 'Hirai Momo'. She didn't care much for the non-Career tributes, only paying close attention to the reapings of districts two and four, looking them up and seeing how well they had trained. (it's callous, but it's only practical. Nayeon doubts someone from District Twelve stands a chance, what, pelting coal at the other contestants?)

 

Sana had been one of them, of course, and from her research, Nayeon knows not to dismiss Sana too quickly. She's still unsure if Sana seeks an alliance with her - she'd stuck to Nayeon the moment Nayeon disembarked from the train, leaving her district partner to find her own friends.

 

Sana is whiny and petulant, but Nayeon's heard things about her. She's a lot more agile and flexible than she looks, for one.

 

"I don't know anything about her. Is she good?"

 

"She's ripped," Sana confesses, and giggles obscenely. Nayeon rolls her eyes.

 

-

 

18.6 / 1030 / training centre

 

Dahyun seems to be whole-heartedly ignoring their mentor's advice to stay safe during training, pummeling the heavy bag with all her strength. Her knuckles are bruised, ugly red marks on the backs of her hands.

 

Chaeyoung sighs. It's unofficially her job, to make sure Dahyun stays healthy and safe until they get into the games. She won't last long if she's not in tip-top condition, but something tells Chaeyoung that Dahyun doesn't need someone to tell her. She's just stubborn like that, has been that way ever since they were kids.

 

Dahyun's jaw is set in bitter determination as she throws herself back with the force of her own blow, and her efforts aren't going unnoticed. A crowd has gathered around the clear glass separating them and the evaluators, consisting of thoughtful-looking men fiddling with their pocketwatches as they stare at Dahyun. They murmur to each other, smiling to themselves and each other in the smug way exclusive to the capitol. The glass is soundproof, but Chaeyoung knows what they must be talking about, reducing Dahyun's skills to how much entertainment she will bring them in the arena.

 

The girl in question flicks her hair out of her face, catching sight of the potential sponsors. Then she's back at it, lunging forward to smash her fists so hard into the bag that the entire frame holding it up is trembling with a hollow sound.

 

Dahyun's shaking, too.

 

But Chaeyoung knows they do not notice.

 

-

 

18.6 / 1045 / District Five quarters

 

The air thickens when she steps out of the elevator. She gets off at the fifth floor, the entire floor being devoted to a positively massive lounge, with two doors on opposite ends which must lead to the rooms. Momo's jaw drops at the sheer size of the place - she's never seen anything this lavish, and she feels a twang of irritation when she realizes that she will only get to enjoy this place for two days.

 

"Woah," her district partner sounds out behind her, and she can't help but agree with him. Their feet pad against the carpet, and Momo feels self-conscious of her heavy footsteps. It's almost unbefitting of a room as beautiful as this.

 

Euigeon stops in the centre of the room, eyes wide. "How much time do we have to settle?"

 

"All the time in the world," their mentor Kahi, a well-built woman who remains District Five's sole female victor, says. "There's a schedule pinned on the wall to tell you where to be at fixed times. Most of this time, however, is yours. But," she pauses, flicking her gaze towards Euigeon, who seems deadset on using that time to kick back and relax here, "I suggest that you do not fritter it away."

 

There's a sadness in Kahi's eyes that makes Momo's heart ache. It's not directed at anyone, or anything but the two of them, Momo and Euigeon, and how they are just two more tributes Kahi will see through the games.

 

She decides that she will make this as easy as possible for her mentor, if it means she doesn't have to see the pitiful expression in her eyes.

 

Euigeon blinks cluelessly, and Momo has to step in for him, offering Kahi a smile, "Of course. We'll put it to good use."

 

"Good. I'll leave the two of you to it, then. Come see me if you need any help, I won't hold you back." Kahi must not want to spend any more time in this place than she has to. She must've occupied this space, too, before her games, with her district partner too. Momo wonders what sort of memories their mentor associates with this place.

 

"So," Euigeon says once Kahi's disappeared.

 

"So?"

 

The boy is fiddling with his fingers. He hasn't made a move towards either of the rooms, but Momo has her hand on the doorknob of her room already. "What do you plan to do?"

 

"Training centre," Momo replies quickly. They'd shot up past it in the transparent glass elevator, and the training centre had been packed to the brim with eager tributes, ready to show off their skills to potential sponsors. She can't miss out on that. "You coming?"

 

"Uh," Euigeon shrugs, "I didn't think of that. I wasn't really planning on training-"

 

"You should."

 

"Why? You think we stand a chance against the careers?"

 

Momo frowns, "Don't talk like that-"

 

"What, you do?" Euigeon doesn't look like he wants to pick a fight, only resign and fade into the darkness. "I've accepted that I'm going to die. There are people out here our age who's trained their whole lives for this, Momo. I can't say the same for myself."

 

Euigeon is the son of the mayor, and has had a cushy lifestyle, with none of the hard labour most children growing up in District Five have had. He's vocalizing what Momo had been afraid to think, that he - as well as the other non-Career tributes - are fighting a losing battle.

 

This boy is, by default, her ally in the arena. She shakes her head. "I'll see you in the training centre."

 

-

 

18.6 / 1200 / training centre

 

Mina's muscles are aching.

 

She drops her crossbow, her forearm burning as her weapon clatters to the ground. It hurts, but she forces a smile for the gamemakers and the sponsors milling about outside, though none of them are looking at her. She's nothing impressive, she can't fathom why anyone would want to anyway.

 

The spotlight is currently being hogged by some skinny girl from District Three, and Mina's dimly thankful. Even if it means that the Career tributes are glaring daggers into the girl's back for robbing them of their limelight, already plotting to kill the District Three girl. They must be used to being the best at everything.

 

Still, Mina was raised to pay attention to appearances. They could turn their heads at any time and set their eyes on Mina and her dropped crossbow, and decide never to look in her direction again. Sponsors could mean the difference between life and death, and because of that, Mina is determined to be the best she can.

 

There's a thump from ahead her as the punching bag is somehow knocked off its hinges, and Mina sees the sponsors applauding, eyes shining with adoration for the District Three girl. She has to get to that level.

 

She sighs, and picks up her crossbow again.

 

-

 

18.6 / 1230 / great hall

 

"Watch where you're going, loser." a girl shoves past Jeongyeon irritably, and Jeongyeon bites back a shout. Everyone here is so ridiculously temperamental that it's pissing her off, even if she may be equally temperamental. Something to do with the fact that they're going to be made to kill each other in two days' time.

 

She feels lonely - her district partner is nowhere to be found. Their mentor had warned against this, about separating and losing each other in the games. She'd told them to stick together. Eunha seems to have forgone the advice completely, choosing to run off to socialize with the other districts.

 

She accepts the tray of food, searching for a place to sit down. There isn't a table that's empty, but no one seems very excited to have her sit with them.

 

"Hey, come over!"

 

She looks up from the (close to overflowing) tray, making eye contact with a grinning tribute. She's slender, with eyes that gleam with happiness. Jeongyeon hasn't had much time to have a once-over of all her fellow tributes, but she takes a liking to her instantly.

 

She sits down in front of the smiling tribute, the girl tilting her head and greeting her enthusiastically. "Hi, I'm Sana!"

 

To Sana's left is an older girl who's giving her a smoldering look that tells Jeongyeon she doesn't want to be friends. She sets down her fork, chewing as she looks Jeongyeon up and down. Huffs.

 

"Im Nayeon. District One."

 

Jeongyeon stiffens.

 

"I'm from District Two! And you are?" Sana gushes.

 

"Yoo Jeongyeon," Jeongyeon murmurs, feeling her heart pound hard when Nayeon stares at her. "District Twelve."

 

Nayeon's brows raise, and she looks away, seemingly having made up her mind not to waste her breath on Jeongyeon. Jeongyeon gets the impression she was only scouting for a potential ally, anyway. She's one of those Career tributes, it seems, those whose only goal is to stake out potential threats and allies.

 

It's sinking it fast - it feels ridiculous, now, to be sitting at a table and pretending to be jolly with two girls who will be dead, or trying to kill her in the days to come.

 

At least Nayeon's explicit with it - Sana is still all smiles, pretending that nothing's wrong.

 

God, she's sick of it.

 

Sana elbows Nayeon, pouting at the other girl's rudeness, before launching into meaningless banter. Jeongyeon listens more than she speaks, smiling when necessary.

 

Jeongyeon thinks of Sana's home, thinks of District Two, how they eat out of the capitol's hand, how Sana probably grew up fed and fattened on capitol propaganda, how it's glorious to die for the capitol's entertainment. She wants to be disgusted, but all she can muster is pity for the slender girl.

 

Sana gets up to return her tray, skipping off, and Nayeon looks up, lip curling. Jeongyeon's thoughts must be written all over her face, because Nayeon is murmuring, "You don't know a thing about her."

 

"Excuse me?" Jeongyeon sputters, caught off guard. Nayeon's gaze is dangerous and everything Jeongyeon was trying to avoid. She feels like a bug, pinned down by Nayeon's dangerous, calculating eyes.

 

(avoid District One. They're nothing but trouble.)

 

Nayeon stretches like a cat, deceptively comfortable. She is pretty much exactly what Jeongyeon would think evil is personified.

 

"I said you don't know a thing about her. She's not as airheaded as you think."

 

"I never-"

 

"You never," Nayeon cuts off smoothly. "She killed her entire family, you know. Gutted them and strung them up like meat just for fun. She talked her way out of it. The peacekeepers didn't even bother investigating."

 

Jeongyeon makes a choked noise deep in her throat, and Nayeon smiles softly. She doesn't know whether to believe Nayeon or not, but something tells her that Nayeon has no motive to lie.

 

The Career tribute raises those dangerous eyes of hers for a moment, seems to notice that Sana's coming back to their table in that bubbly way Jeongyeon is beginning to fear.

 

"Maybe rethink if I'm the one you should be afraid of," and then she's getting up, smiling as Sana re-attaches herself back by Nayeon's side and bids Jeongyeon goodbye. "See you around, Jeongyeon."

 

-

 

18.6 / 1630 / training centre

 

The axe slams into the wall with a frightening speed, and Jihyo swallows hard, stepping back. Tzuyu hums to herself, jogging over and retrieving it out of the human outline. It's embedded in the outline's head, right above where its eye would be.

 

She should be happy - should be proud of Tzuyu of getting the hang of the weapon so fast. But there's a bitter taste in the back of her throat that she can't shake off.

 

The truth is that she's afraid.

 

Both of Tzuyu right now, and what Tzuyu will be become.

 

Will she run, in two days? Or will she head straight to the cornucopia, fish for the same axe that she's working with now so she can take down as many tributes as she can? Will she ally herself with Jihyo, or will she turn her back on Jihyo and induct herself into the pack of careers?

 

The thought of Tzuyu being anything close to the bloodthirsty monsters Jihyo has seen in the training centre leaves a bitter taste in her mouth, for she knows she has no right to be upset. It's only what Tzuyu is supposed to do. Jihyo has no agency over that.

 

Maybe she's just envious.

 

She's not any less powerful than Tzuyu is - she stuck to what she knew when the number of people outside peaked, heading off to train her knowledge of edible and poisonous plants, of which vines and ferns she'll be able to handle without breaking out into a horrific rash.

 

She squares herself firmly in her element, learning how to mitigate the various toxic effects of plants she's only heard about from her mother, teaching herself the names and identifying features of new, genetically-engineered plants she has never read about. It is comforting, to have something she has so extensively studied be of use in the arena.

 

(she ignores the niggling feeling that it will not help, for she will be too dead to put any of this knowledge to good use.)

 

"Jihyo-unnie?" Tzuyu has paused from relentlessly hurling the axe at the wall, hands on her knees as she huffs. She's sweating in the air-conditioned bliss of the training centre, face flushed red. Some of the other tributes turn when they hear Tzuyu, sneers on their lips. The female tribute from District Four had made it very clear what she thought of Jihyo, and has repeatedly tried to get Tzuyu to form an alliance with her. Jihyo isn't surprised if the rest think the same of Jihyo, that she's just some weakling who thinks she can win the games with her brain. The District Four tribute even looks like a shark, circling the two of them and ready to close in.

 

"Hm?"

 

"You're thinking again," Tzuyu says softly.

 

For someone who has only known Jihyo since their names were pulled from the reaping bowl, Tzuyu has all her bad habits down pat. It's not even a bad habit per se, just Jihyo's tendency to wear her emotions on her sleeve.

 

She hates thinking about the implications of the games, or how in a few days none of this will matter because she won't be alive. It scares her, the concept of losing all autonomy over herself and being shipped back home in a rectangular box, and Tzuyu has watched her repeatedly push these thoughts away since they departed from District Ten.

 

She will face them when she is dead, Jihyo decides. And maybe not even then.

 

-

 

18.6 / 1902 / District Three quarters

 

They retire to their quarters to prepare for dinner. Their mentor stresses the importance of impressions, for this is the first of three dinners that will determine how much backing they have during the games. The capitol does not care for breakfast, or lunch - the tributes have that time to themselves. But dinner requires them to be dolled up and presented like trussed up turkeys.

 

Dahyun can sense the importance they place on the meal with the fact that all three dinners are preceded or followed by the three key events of the pre-game duration: the opening ceremony, the evaluations, and the interviews. It gives her some sort of structure to look forward to, she supposes, if nothing else.

 

Their stylist breaks out into a grin when he sees them. Well... It's mostly Dahyun that he grins at. His gaze kind of skips over Chaeyoung, and Dahyun feels ashamed for that. She shouldn't have hogged the spotlight in retrospect, shouldn't have drawn a huge target on her back during training today. Everyone is talking about her now, about the District Three girl who has immense strength, who ignored the jeering Career tributes in favour of knocking down a punching bag.

 

She's not even sure what about her performance had charmed her to the sponsors, just that she has them wrapped around her little finger now. Seven sponsors have already pledged funds to her. All she knows is that the Career tributes hate her, and dearly wish that she flops at evaluations. Dahyun knows she'd lose all her sponsors if she ended up getting a low score at evaluations - it'd be embarrassing, for the seven rich men who have betted their egos on her winning.

 

"Dahyun," their stylist coos, "I have something in mind for you." his gaze darts down to her knuckles, "It doesn't hurt that much, does it?"

 

"Uh," Dahyun feels Chaeyoung's glare boring into the back of her head, "No."

 

"Brilliant! We can use that to our advantage. We'll wrap bandages around your knuckles so you seem even stronger than you already are, sweetie. Tonight's going to go great!"

 

Dahyun has to nudge Chaeyoung to get her expression under control when their stylist turns away. He's just another one of the people who think that the hunger games are truly a game, and that he's playing dress-up for them to look pretty as they're sent into the lion's den.

 

Chaeyoung's eyes are dark with irritation, but Dahyun pretends not to notice.

 

-

 

18.6 / 2200 / amphitheatre

 

The opening ceremony is beautiful. The other tributes are beautiful. They are beautiful. Momo and Euigeon are dressed in black outfits studded with onyx, fearsome and domineering as their chariot roars to a stop before the president's mansion. Their hands do not touch the whole way, only brushing slightly when Euigeon first helps Momo get into the chariot.

 

She watches their mentor gaze at them, mouth falling open and head darting into her hands when she sees how tragically beautfiul they are. Kahi doesn't look up for the rest of the ceremony, nestled into the District Six mentor's side, not even when Momo and Euigeon are named to the booming applause of the amphitheatre, not even when Claudius Templesmith praises them for their costuming and darkly gorgeous makeup.

 

Momo doesn't care that even her own mentor will not look at her. It's better if it's like this. It makes things easier for all of them. Momo wants to be the easiest tribute Kahi has ever had the pleasure of mentoring since she won her games.

 

So it should be no surprise when after the ceremony and the theatrics, Momo trips to the toilet in her beautiful heels and throws up.


	2. they never know

19.6 / 0134 / rooftop

"What are you doing here?"

 

Mina whirls, hands already spread out in front of her to quell the misunderstanding. She swipes her hair out of her face nervously, coming eye-to-eye with a curious-looking tribute.   
  
Struggling for words, she shrugs. The tribute doesn't look dangerous - her eyes are filled with an innocent, naïve sort of shine - but Mina knows best that looks are deceiving. She doesn't recognize her, though, which should be a good thing. It means she isn't a Career.

 

"Needed to clear my mind," Mina says.

 

"You're not alone," the other girl murmurs. "Do you mind if I, uh, come sit with you?"

 

What the hell, it's not like she can kill her before the Games begin. "Sure," Mina moves back to her place on the edge of the roof, legs dangling mere metres above the forcefield preventing them from ending their lives prematurely. "I couldn't sleep," she says softly.

 

"Me too. I haven't slept well since the reaping." The girl shakes her head angrily, "I can't believe this is happening to us."

 

Mina swallows. She'd made a pact with herself and her district partner not to talk about the Games, as it'd just result in more distress and fear when it's the last thing they both need. _Take things as they come_ , Yuna had said. This tribute seems to want to do anything but that.

 

"I'm Myoui Mina," she says, not wanting to acknowledge the girl's words and the crushing reality of them. "I'm from District Eight."

 

"Nice to meet you, Mina. I'm Yoo Jeongyeon. District Twelve."

 

-

19.6 / 0800 / great hall

 

Nayeon feels like a dead body when she enters the Great Hall. Even Sana's excited chattering isn't doing anything to lift her spirits, the District Two tribute somehow managing to talk all the way from the District One quarters to the Hall.

 

She hadn't slept well, and she detests Sana and the other perky tributes for having done so. She'd been kept up all night by the distracting crying coming from above her, presumably from the District Two tribute who isn't Sana. It'd been embarrassing to hear the sobbing, of course - Nayeon thinks about how she could ruin Sana's district partner if she let it slip that she'd spent the entire night crying in fear. It'd be dirty and underhanded - and _exactly_ something Nayeon would do.

 

She shakes the thoughts away. She's just cranky. Dimly, she hopes that Yoo Jeongyeon doesn't come to sit with them again - she'd seen the way Jeongyeon had appraised her. The Careers aren't the only ones with prejudices in here.

  
Sana is oblivious to Nayeon's poor mood, stealing scraps of food off Nayeon's tray when she thinks the other girl doesn't notice. She's playing with her own food, dividing it into little cubes and stripes before slashing through them with her fork. "What are you going to do for your evaluation today?"

 

"You first," Nayeon insists dryly.

 

"Well," Sana frowns, "I was thinking of destroying a training dummy as fast I can. With my knives and stuff. It's nothing they've seen before, I bet."

 

Nayeon can only think of how much Sana is living up to her district's reputation of having a penchant for torture. Yoon Jisung - last year's victor - had sawed through his District Four ally's throat painfully slowly to clinch the title of victor, and Nayeon knows for a fact that Sana's mentor, the winner of the second Quarter Quell, slaughtered five Avoxes when she first woke up after winning because she couldn't get enough after leaving the arena.

 

District Two is what District One is not - they may be equals in their tributes' ferocity and strength, but District Two has always taken explicit pleasure in the suffering of other tributes. Nayeon was raised simply to do whatever she could to win, and then win. She can't imagine being like Sana, whose upbringing probably included classes on where to stab to cause the most pain.

 

She shakes herself out of her thoughts, "Crossbow for me," Nayeon lies through her teeth. She hates handling bows, but Sana doesn't need to know that, or the fact that Nayeon will be handling throwing knives for her private evaluation tonight.

 

The gears in Sana's head are already turning as the District Two tribute thinks of how to keep the crossbow away from Nayeon through the Games, Nayeon can tell from the way Sana's lips are parted, eyes faraway. "I'll get myself a high score by hitting bullseye, hopefully."

 

"Yep! We'll both do well!"

 

-

 

19.6 / 0940 / training centre

 

Jonghyun cautions Tzuyu against showing off her axe skills, citing other tributes eyeing them up like meat, and tells her to save it for their evaluations later in the day. Their district might be a joke, but their mentor tells them to use this to their advantage. It will be better for Tzuyu if nobody trusts her to lift an axe. It means that she'll be able to take everyone by surprise.

 

The girl from yesterday who'd had the attention of all the sponsors - Kim Dahyun - seems to have received the same advice. Today she's milling about the training centre looking glum, biting at a biscuit from the refreshments table as she watches Hirai Momo from District Five leap from wall to wall, her agility atypical of a District Five tribute. (Tzuyu has to swallow _hard_ when Momo's shirt rides up.)

 

Dahyun's knuckles are bandaged, Tzuyu notices, undoubtedly a product of the hammering she'd done at the punching bag for all to watch yesterday. She catches herself hoping that it'll be some sort of disadvantage for Dahyun in the arena, and grins quietly to herself, knowing that Jihyo would admonish herself for thinking such things. Jihyo is a humanitarian, and that is the real difference between them.

 

She sets her jaw and walks back to a training station.

 

-

 

19.6 / 1210 / great hall

 

Mina finds herself trailing after Jeongyeon when they head to the Great Hall for lunch. They'd spent the past twelve hours together, and Mina feels more at home with Jeongyeon than with her district partner, whose socialite attitude upsets Mina. (She just can't understand how Yuna can go off with those boys from District Seven like it's nothing, like they're not all going to die within the next few days.)

 

Jeongyeon is grounded and appropriately serious, and Mina feels comfortable staying with her. She's strong, too - and Mina _hates_ thinking about that because it makes her feel like she's just using Jeongyeon for protection.

  
She's not, though. She really, really isn't. She would never dream of it. All she wants is a friend to trust before they're sent into the Games, someone who'll acknowledge the gravity of their situation and make the last days of their lives good ones.

 

She supposes that Yuna only wants the same.

 

Today's lunch is similarly lavish to all Capitol meals, and Mina's stomach rumbles when Jeongyeon comes back with seconds. There's some sort of cream soup on the menu today, and Mina swallows hard at the side.

 

Jeongyeon laughs, pushing her tray forward, "Do you want some?"

 

Her eyes twinkle when she smiles, and Mina thinks she's smitten.

 

-

 

19.6 / 1245 / great hall

 

There's a screech of chairs as Nayeon gets up from her seat opposite Sana, already stalking towards the boy in question who'd been trying to make a move on Sana.

 

"Oh, fuck _off_ ," Nayeon growls, yanking the boy close by his collar, lifting him a clear inch off the ground. Her eyes are stormy, and even Sana, who lives for conflict, seems to have backed off, watching nervously with the other tributes as the District Eleven boy squirms in Nayeon's grip. He's soft, pliant in her hand, light as a feather. Malnourished.

 

Pathetic.

 

"Don't you have anything better to do? Like savour the last few days of your life?" Nayeon sneers.

 

Her words are firm and clear, ringing out across the Great Hall. Someone from across the Hall whimpers, a twelve year-old from District Nine whom everyone ignores. But it's testament to the atmosphere of the hall - everyone is waiting for Nayeon's next move, for something to happen.

 

Nayeon is an earthquake, she's always been destructive, vicious, cold.

 

She presses her nails into the boy's throat, teeth showing as she pushes forward viciously, and they're sharp enough for him to cry out incoherently. Nayeon looks as if she's going to do something else, but then the Career tribute sighs, rolling her eyes and dropping him within the next second.

 

He lands at a heap at her feet, looking up at her pathetically, trembling.

 

No one tries to intervene.

 

-

 

19.6 / 1500 / training centre

 

Momo breathes hard as she lands in front of the evaluators, every muscle in her body tensing as she holds herself in place. She's pressed up against the glass, aiming to get as much attention as possible. Evaluations are her biggest chance to make an impression.

  
The Head Gamemaker stares back, eyes wide, ridiculous mustache twitching, clipboard forgotten, and Momo can't help but think that she's going to do well.

 

-

 

19.6 / 1654 / district eight quarters

 

The look on the victor's face is indecipherable as he slashes through his opponent's throat with relative ease. Blood splatters onto the snow, and the victor - Lee Taeyong from District One, Mina learns later - sinks to his knees, still gripping hard onto his knife. He doesn't let go of it until the recording of the 78th Hunger Games ends, with the seal of Panem closing the video.

  
The screen cuts to black, and the fear that's only been budding unfurls in Mina's chest. The clip for the 79th Hunger Games is up next, the most recent one, in fact.

  
She already knows what happens, knows that Kim Jisoo from District Four wins by trapping three people in an intricate set of ropes before drowning them in the ocean that spanned half the arena's surface area, weighing their tired bodies down with stones. Because she spent the entire of last year's Hunger Games huddled up with her family, shaking like a leaf at the thought that the boy from her district who thrashed and sobbed when he began sinking could've been her.

 

Mina's name was in the reaping bowl fifty times last year. This year it was doubled.

 

She never stood a chance.

 

-

 

19.6 / 2000 / district three quarters

 

Training scores are released right after dinner, as Dahyun and Chaeyoung make their way back to their quarters.

 

The huge screen in the entertainment room is already showing Im Nayeon's score when the elevator door opens to let them onto the third floor, an impressive 11. Her district partner, a girl named Sooyeon, is next, with a similarly impressive 10.

 

"Crap," Dahyun says, nibbling on her nails. Her features are screwed up in worry. "I hope I do well." She sounds like she's worried about how she did for a test.

  
Chaeyoung doesn't know what Dahyun did for her evaluations, but she prays fervently that both of them will do well enough for sponsors to take an interest in them.

 

Chaeyoung had shown off her skills with wires during her evaluation, wiring up a miniature bomb and setting it off in a small pile of training cushions. The gamemakers had been fascinated. She thinks. It can't be anything that they haven't seen before - District Three, for all its technological prowess, comes up with the same evaluation talents every year.

 

The pair of girls from District Two get 10s, and Dahyun's nail-biting only gets more intense. Caesar Flickerman is still going on about the good showing of the Career Districts, and how this year's scores are higher than ever seen before.

 

Chaeyoung's breath hitches when her face appears on the screen, above her name. Her score is nowhere to be seen, and they are both silent as Caesar gives the Capitol a rundown of District Three and its past victors, as well as its tributes' performances in the Games. Six victors in eighty years, five of which won in the first ten years of the Games before they were overtaken by the Career districts. _Tributes from District Three,_ Caesar notes, _tend to be skilled with technology, their district being the technology manufacturer of Panem. Ha Sungwoon, winner of the 59th Hunger Games and also District Three's most recent winner, notably wired a food stash six tributes were sharing to a bomb, destroying any chance they had at survival and winning easily._

"Let's see if this year's District Three tributes are as promising as their predecessor!" Caesar chuckles, and then a 7 is flashing beside Chaeyoung.

  
She heaves a sigh of relief. It's nowhere as bad as she thought it would be.

 

Dahyun is next, and Caesar doesn't waste time with a soliloquy this time before an 8 pops up on the screen, proud and tall, a testament to Dahyun's efforts over the past few days. Chaeyoung absently wonders if the bandages had anything to do with it.

 

"Holy shit," Chaeyoung says, "What did you do?"

  
All the tension has seeped away from Dahyun, and she's grinning, her hands in her lap.

 

"Surprised them."

 

-

 

19.6 / 2010 / district five quarters

 

District Four does the (comparative) worst of the Career districts, both tributes scoring 9s. Caesar makes a joke about how the odds are definitely _not_ in their favour this year, and then Euigeon is up.   


"Don't hold your breath," Euigeon says dryly a split second before a 4 appears on the screen.

 

Momo feels disappointment twang her stomach. Euigeon's expression is unreadable, though he's sporting a small smirk that looks like an _I told you so_. He's completely given up, and Momo hates thinking about the fact, that he's lost so much of his dignity in such a short amount of time.

 

These emotions take a backseat when Momo gets a 10.   
  
"Oh," she gapes at the screen as the screen flicks to District Six, Euigeon laughing and whooping.

 

-

 

19.6 / 2015 / district ten quarters

 

Jihyo is entirely buried into the crook of Tzuyu's neck when their district is called up, Jihyo's face flashing on the screen. Neither of them are expecting much, that Hirai Momo girl being the single shining beacon before the other - frankly horrendous - scores were released.

 

District Seven got a 2 and a 4. Both District Eight tributes got a 3. The twelve year-old from Nine got a 1. Tzuyu doesn't think she's even _seen_ someone get a 1 before.

 

"Park Jihyo, with a score of 4!"

 

Jihyo deflates further, and Tzuyu pretends not to hear when a 9 flashes beside her name.

 

-

 

20.6 / 0800 / great hall

  
The mood at breakfast is even more somber than usual, most of the tributes looking downright miserable with the advent of evaluation scores from last night. That, compounded with the knowledge that this will be their last breakfast, makes for a shitty morning.

 

"Congrats on the score," Momo looks up to see a smiling girl she knows is from District Eleven. She doesn't seem the slightest bit envious of Momo, and Momo is surprised. All the tributes she's talked to so far are either a foot in the grave or deathly competitive.   
  
"Thanks," Momo smiles back, tilting her head, before diving back into her food. Her stomach has been tossing and turning since last night, with a weird sort of energy - it's not quite anxiety, but it's not quite anything else either. Maybe it's apprehension, the want of _something_ needing to happen soon, but not knowing what she wants.

 

_What do you want?_

_To win._

_No, what do you really want?_

-

 

20.6 / 0845 / training centre

 

"I don't want to leave," Nayeon says. She's fetching another quiver now, having nocked all her arrows. Sana feels irritated at how she seems to treasure her crossbow more than she treasures Sana - what was that display of aggression yesterday for, if Nayeon's more preoccupied on flexing her skills in front of the other tributes?

 

There were no Gamemakers to watch, no sponsors to admire whatever fucked up sort of budding romance that has built between them. Sana knows better than anyone, because she spends her time looking around for them, for any chance to ham it up. No one else was around to pay attention to them yesterday, which must mean that Nayeon was genuinely pissed off.

 

She seems the type, Sana supposes, and guesses that the pissiness just comes with the territory, that Nayeon has childish possessive urges she doesn't hesitate to act on. Nayeon is easier to decode than she herself thinks she is.

 

It doesn't matter, though. Sana just wants to get out of here, get ready for tonight's interviews, and then get a good sleep before they're sent into the Arena tomorrow. She got bored of showing off her knife skills an hour ago, but it seems that

 

"Nayeonnie," Sana whines, almost stomping her feet. She sees Nayeon's eyes soften, even only by a fraction. "You're good enough already, you don't have to do _anything_. C'mon, I want to go upstairs. We can watch TV in my room, yeah?" She bats her lashes, knowing full well that Nayeon is a slave to her lower instincts like everyone else.

 

The older girl's resolve weakens, Sana can see it. Only a little more to go. "I should keep training-"

 

Sana shrugs. "Fine, then, I won't bother you. I guess I'll just have to ask that District Eleven boy to come with me. I get so lonely, and he seems so eager, don't you think?"

  
Nayeon's eyes flash, and Sana knows she has her wrapped around her little finger.

 

-

 

20.6 / 1210 / rooftop

 

"You look pretty," Jeongyeon comments as Mina appears on the rooftop in a white sequin dress. Mina feels like she might positively explode from the constraints of the outfit (she has no doubt the generous Capitol rations have fattened her up like a pig to the slaughter, even in the two days she's been here), but Jeongyeon's words soothe what she imagines her stomach must look like now.

 

"My stylist insisted," Mina murmurs, taking a seat beside Jeongyeon, letting her legs dangle again. She couldn't see them last night, but today the clouds are so low-hanging that she thinks if she stretched out her hands, she could touch them. They're the one thing apart from the sun that has remained identical to what she had back home, and she holds it close to her heart for that.

 

Jeongyeon reads her mind, and Mina marvels at how in tune they are. "Careful, you might fall."

 

"It'd be preferable to this."

 

Jeongyeon's face falls, and Mina knows she's said the wrong thing, because Jeongyeon's hand is wrapped around her wrist, and the District Twelve tribute is pressing even closer to her, "Don't say that ever again."

  
She blinks away tears, willing herself not to cry. Mina isn't even sure where the tears are from, why she's about to tear up in front of Jeongyeon, someone she didn't even _know_ twelve hours ago. She doesn't cry. No one has ever seen her cry.

  
"One of us is going to get out of here alive, you hear me?" Jeongyeon says harshly, even though Mina still isn't looking at her, staring out into the low clouds and wondering how it would feel to crash through them. She sounds so convinced that Mina finds it in herself to suspend her disbelief for the moment.

 

"I mean, how good can the Careers be, right?"

 

Mina nods, her heart squeezing. "Right."

 

-

 

20.6 / 1700 / district ten quarters

 

"I feel raw," Jihyo groans, and Tzuyu nods somberly. They've both been scrubbed down to what feels like their bones in hot water, until their skin was pink and bared to the world. That was before all the makeup - Tzuyu is pretty as always, but Jihyo's taken aback at how much she's been dolled up by the stylists.

 

They're both wearing simple white dresses, nothing too revealing, after Hwasa used her escort powers to veto five other dress choices. In order, they were _too long,_ then _too short_ , then _too light,_ then _too dark_ , then _for God's sake, you useless man, do you have any sense of fashion_?

 

Jonghyun had watched from a safe distance, laughing when Jihyo had given him a pleading look to get them out of this. His eyes twinkle when he smiles. Jihyo wonders if he'll be smiling when he's trying to keep the two of them alive in the arena.

 

"Smile, unnie," Tzuyu encourages, and Jihyo smiles as wide as she can. Hwasa has decided that both of them will go for the innocent country girl concept and try to win the audience over, but Jihyo knows they will be more enamoured with Tzuyu, what with her training score and her pure, clean sort of beauty.

 

She feels momentarily protective of Tzuyu, wants to protect her from the wolf-eyed public who'll devour this young girl like a hunk of meat when they see her. Tzuyu doesn't deserve any of that.

 

She holds out her hand for Tzuyu to take (Tzuyu's having trouble walking in heels, and Jihyo suppresses a giggle when she nearly trips over her own feet), pristine ivory heels padding mutedly against the carpet to the elevator. Tzuyu's palm is warm in her hand.

 

Jonghyun and Hwasa follow after them, as they'll be enjoying the dinner with them and the rest of the tributes, joining them afterwards to prep them for their interviews. Jonghyun's dressed in a suit that frankly, makes him look very dapper, and Hwasa's in high-class Capitol fashion, her short hair embellished with a rose-shaped clip that covers at least half the area on her head. What a dream team, Jihyo thinks.

 

-

 

20.6 / 1800 / recording studio

 

The Capitol audience stretches on for _miles_ , it seems. The door backstage had said _Studio 1_ , but to Dahyun, it's an amphitheatre, with the tributes taking centre stage as their entertainment.

 

She chooses not to ruminate on it, instead brushing her knuckles gently and sighing. Her stylist made the executive decision to go with Dahyun's rugged image, replacing the bloodied bandages around her knuckles with something more breathable and definitely more cosmetic. They juxtapose sharply against the sprawling black dress she's in. Dahyun wonders where her stylist went to for fashion school.

 

Her only consolation is that she was able to make faces at Chaeyoung while he was fixing the fabric over her knuckles.

  
"Charming," Chaeyoung says dryly as they shuffle to get into district order, the District Four girl behind them giving both of them death glares. She's the asshole everyone has grown to unitedly dislike because she thinks she's too good for the Games, even though Dahyun's pretty sure no one knows her name. "The Careers are so tasteful."

 

Dahyun peers ahead to get a look at the District One and Two tributes, and her breath in her throat catches for a second, because how could it not? All four girls are positively stunning, in form-fitting dresses that accentuate their figures that Dahyun's always seen the people in the Capitol wear. The District One girls are especially playing up to their District's specialty of luxury, with expensive jewelry draped around their necks tastefully.

 

Im Nayeon looks even more intimidating with smoky makeup and a resting bitch-face, Dahyun notes. She's highly favoured by the Capitol - Dahyun's seen the bets that they've been placing.

 

Im Nayeon and her district partner Jung Sooyeon take the top two places for favourites to win this year's Hunger Games, with some other girl from District Five who got a high training score taking the next spot. They probably will - the gambles the Capitol takes are usually based off past experience.

 

Dahyun suddenly feels hopelessly out of place with her stupid bandages around her knuckles, and buries them in the folds of her dress, hoping none of them deign to turn around and take a good look at her.

 

"Pretty," Dahyun observes, "But not more than us," Dahyun forces a playful smile.

 

"Definitely," Chaeyoung says seriously, and they lock eyes for a long moment before breaking out into laughter.

 

-

 

20.6 / 1820 / recording studio

 

"And tell me, Ms Hirai," Caesar leans forward conspiratorially, as if it's only them in this expansive amphitheatre with the entire nation watching the two of them, "Why do you want to win the Hunger Games? You _do_ know that you're a fan favourite, right?"

 

Before Momo can contemplate the implications of his words, a giant chart is projected onto the screen behind them. It's a mess of light and words, but Momo makes out her name, stencilled neatly beside the words DISTRICT FIVE.

 

"Is this-"  
  
"Momo!" Caesar gasps in affected astonishment, "You mean you don't know everyone thinks you're going to win this year?"

  
The crowd roars its approval, hooting and applauding, and Momo feels her heart jump as she scans the current tribute rankings. She sees her training score beside her name and district, one of the few double-digit scores on the list. She's ranked third.

 

Third place. Third place as in -- people think she might win.

 

She appraises the list again, looking for Euigeon, feeling sad but not surprised when she sees him at 20th place. She can almost feel his smug smirk from backstage, the same look he's given her every time she brings up the possibility of him returning home.

  
"I--" Momo clenches her fist, forcing herself to pull herself together. "I can't say I knew, Caesar. But this is very flattering, I'll admit." She curses herself for not listening to any of the previous interviews from backstage - she'd zoned out when Im Nayeon and Jung Sooyeon, the only people above her in the charts, had given their interviews. She has a feeling they handled Caesar's question better than she did.

 

Momo hesitates a little before she keeps talking.

 

_What do you want?_

"Well," she struggles, "I want to go home. I want to see my family again."   
  
Tried and tested, Caesar gasps. "Any siblings back home you'd like to see again?"

 

_To win._

"A younger brother," Momo finds herself saying, "And my dog. My parents too, of course. I'd do anything to make them proud."

 

Her parents died in the accident at the hydroelectric dream seven years ago, but Momo says it anyway, heart aching too much to stop. The Capitol already knows (a girl from District Three had told Momo about the strange websites the Capitol has devoted to every bit of information they can scrounge up about all twenty-four tributes), and they gasp when she mentions her parents. She can see it now - what a filial daughter! How loving and respectful she is!

 

_No, what do you really want?_

Caesar sighs, patting Momo's clasped hands gently. "Well, I wish you all the best then. Thank you, Hirai Momo from District Five, and may the odds be ever in your favour!"

 

Momo almost trips getting offstage, but thankfully, by that time, Euigeon is heading up on stage, the crowd purring like a crowd of satisfied cats at his good looks. She doesn't look back to see his face.

 

_I don't know._

 

-

 

20.6 / 2230 / tribute building

 

"No rooftop adventures tonight," Mina says once they're in the elevator alone, pressing the buttons for 8 and 12. "We need to get some rest."

 

Jeongyeon looks as if she might argue, but then the fight goes out of her and she nods. She's drowning in her outfit, a simple dress that stops halfway down her thighs, showing off her legs. "Okay."

 

The next time she sees Jeongyeon, or any of the other tributes for the fact, will be in the ten seconds before the Hunger Games begin. Mina knows that, but it isn't sinking in, not just yet. It still feels like Jeongyeon and Mina are new friends and hanging out, having fun.

  
She wishes desperately that that would be so.

 

"I'll come and look for you," Jeongyeon bursts out desperately, "In the arena, of course. I'll run over to you and we can stay together. The bloodbath won't take us." She's still infatuated with the idea of one of them winning, even with how low they are on the tribute rankings right now, and it makes Mina feel an ugly twisting in her gut.  
  
The elevator dings as they reach the eighth floor, and Mina smooths her dress down over her hips. There are no words in the hollow of her throat that she feels the need for Jeongyeon to hear.

 

"I'll see you tomorrow," Jeongyeon repeats. Mina starts walking away.

 

-

 

21.6 / 0024 / district one quarters

 

The crying coming from upstairs is even louder tonight, and Nayeon grits her teeth as she throws her covers off her bed. She's had enough of this, she's decided, fitting her feet into her bunny slippers and stalking over to the elevator. Her mentor gives her a strange look when he sees her waiting for the elevator, but says nothing about it. He's too busy knocking back shots with the mentor from District Five to care, anyway. Fucking hammered.

 

Nayeon resists the urge to stab the button for the second floor when the lift does come. She wasn't planning to have to threaten another Career, seeing the likelihood of them allying in the arena on the basis that they're both from Career districts, but then again, she wasn't planning on getting so... intimate with another tribute.  
  
Unpredictable as ever, Nayeon decides to stay away from the wailing tribute's room and heads straight for Sana's.

 

Sana is slipping into unconsciousness when Nayeon raps on her door - at least, that's what Nayeon ascertains from how disheveled and yawny she is when she opens the door, rubbing at her eyes. Nayeon marvels at the hot burn in her stomach at the sight.

 

Her eyes widen when she sees Nayeon, "Nayeonnie? What are you doing here?"

  
"I was thinking of you," and it's only a half-lie this time, a partial truth that's erased the moment Sana, now fully awake, tugs Nayeon in by the hem of her shirt.

 

Nayeon's never been too good at lying, anyway.


	3. artificial love

21.6 / 0700 / district one quarters

 

Nayeon wakes up to a soreness in her upper thighs and a deep feeling of trepidation in her chest.

 

That, coupled with Sooyeon standing in her face, is _not_ a good way to start off the Games.

 

"Nayeon!" Sooyeon's scowling down at her as Nayeon struggles to recall what day it is, as if she can't believe that the highest-ranked tribute in the Games isn't a morning person. Blame Nayeon for wanting to sleep in on her last morning in the Capitol, how about. "Taeyong's coming soon, please make yourself presentable."  
  
Sooyeon is already prim and proper, hair done up in a style she probably thinks will impress their deadbeat of a mentor. Nayeon personally isn't interested in him, no matter how 'devilishly good-looking' the victor of the 77th Hunger Games is.

 

Sure, he'd won at it at the age of fifteen, which is no small feat, but that makes him the same age as Nayeon, which is _not_ a good look on him. It makes her respect him less. That, coupled by the fact that he managed to pick up an alcohol habit right after he came home from his Games -- well, Sooyeon must see something she doesn't. (Probably his dick.)

 

Taeyong is nice, she supposes. He answers whatever questions Nayeon and Sooyeon have and is polite to them, treating them more as equals than mentees, but there's a brokenness about him that Nayeon can't bring herself to respect. She's heard that this is common among victors, but can't begin to understand why.

  
"I'd love to," Nayeon grumbles, shoving at Sooyeon. "Get out of my room."

 

"He's coming in a few _minutes_ ," Sooyeon hisses, heading for Nayeon's door, "Please hurry it up."

 

Pathetic.

 

-

 

21.6 / 0700 / district two quarters

 

Sana has a dreamless sleep, waking up at the banging on her door. She pouts when she realizes Nayeon's not in her bed anymore, but remains unsurprised - Nayeon probably skedaddled the moment Sana fell asleep last night, keen to get her fill of sleep before the Games today.

 

The heated floor greets her feet happily, enveloping them in soft comfort, and Sana sits up and stares into space for a few seconds, getting herself together. It hadn't been the most fitful sleep.

 

There are footsteps approaching her door, no doubt her mentor asking her to get ready to be shipped off to her Launch Room.

  
God, she's excited. She rolls her wrists, feeling liquid heat flow into her hands and smiling in satisfaction at the sensation. A few sharp knocks come at the door, but she ignores them in favour of stretching languidly.  
  
She has a big day ahead of her.

 

-

 

21.6 / 0700 / district three quarters

 

"Couldn't sleep?"

 

"Yeah," Dahyun sighs. She's sitting on the couch in the main room, staring at her naked knuckles as if she's amazed they didn't atrophy while they were masked from the world. "How could I?"

 

"This sucks," Chaeyoung agrees, sitting down beside Dahyun. Dahyun's warm as ever, and Chaeyoung finds that to be comforting as she snuggles the slightest bit into the body of her childhood friend. (She's quietly relieved, not for the first time, that they were reaped together - she can't imagine having to come to the Capitol and fight for her life with someone she was never friends with.)

The elevator door opens, and their mentor strides in, clean-shaven and fresh-faced.

 

"Good morning," Doyoung greets, running a hand through his head of unruly auburn hair. "Feeling good?" He laughs with a bitter undertone when he sees Chaeyoung and Dahyun's expressions, "I can't imagine why."

 

"Any last minute tips for us?"

 

"Uh," Doyoung scratches the back of his neck, embarrassed, "No, I just came to pick the two of you up so we can head to the lobby. We'll be going to the Launch Room, so this is kind of the last time I'm going to see the two of you. But if you want tips, um, I guess. Just run. Run away from the Careers the moment the gong sounds, we've never had a good shot at winning because both Two and Four go for us the moment we start running."

 

Chaeyoung blinks, suddenly a lot more heavy-hearted, Doyoung's entirely serious advice setting a sombre tone for the room. The gravity of the situation is scorching, and she's acutely aware of the fear that's eliciting a cold sweat, reminding her that in no less than two hours, she'll be waiting for her death, hoping to tough it out until she's killed off by someone stronger. And that might not even be that long! She might die the moment she steps off her launch pad, culled by some Career tribute who sees her as easy pickings.

 

"Don't look easy," Doyoung advises, entirely serious as he presses the button to call the elevator back to their floor. Chaeyoung's not looking at Dahyun, but she can sense the anxiety coming off her in waves. Dahyun's never been too good at hiding her emotions, mostly because she has never had to with Chaeyoung. "You have to look like a threat. Make it clear that you're a force to be reckoned with, and you can escape the bloodbath like that. So stand tall at your launch pad, and look eager. It's better than slinking into yourself and looking like you're going to cry, okay?"

  
They step into the elevator, the doors smoothly sliding shut and their world descending before Chaeyoung even has a chance to mentally bid her temporary home goodbye. Dahyun's still not speaking, so Chaeyoung flashes Doyoung a smile, thanking him quietly for his guidance.

 

"I'll do everything I can," Doyoung promises. "Everything."

 

-

 

21.6 / 0700 / district 5 quarters

 

Euigeon looks as composed as ever when Momo staggers her way into the main room, still sleepy and disoriented from just having woken up. He's flipping through a copy of _Capitol Couture_ their stylist left on the coffee table, disinterested but still engaged with the various persons of interest featured in the magazine.

 

"Morning," he says, not looking up. "Ready for our big day?"  
  
Momo thinks about the other tributes, about Im Nayeon and Jung Sooyeon and how their names are ranked clearly above hers, and sends a quick prayer up there that she won't have the misfortune to bump into them on the first day of being in the arena. She looks at Euigeon, and wonders if he will make it past the bloodbath, or if he will be the first cannon. He seems deadset on the latter.

 

"As ready as I'll ever be."

 

-

 

21.6 / 0700 / district eight quarters

 

Mina dreams of Jeongyeon, and wakes up determined to run to her when the gong goes off. No more, no less.

 

She feels like a zombie as she goes through the motions, splashing water on her face and changing into Capitol-issued clothes that will later be replaced by her official tribute uniform. She tries not to think of the arena waiting for her, already equipped and primed to swallow its unwitting victims.

 

This is sick, all of it, and she doesn't want any part of it. Never did.

 

-

 

21.6 / 0700 / district ten quarters

 

Jihyo cries for a few minutes after she wakes up, small sobs wracking her body as she sits cross-legged on her Capitol bed. She feels impossibly small, as if every malicious force in the world has ganged up on her at the same time to force her in this situation.

 

Not for the first time, she wonders -- _Why me?_

_Why Tzuyu?_

_Why any of us?_

She muffles her cries with her fist and her pillow, soaking the expensive fabric with her salty tears. It hurts, but she won't let Tzuyu or Jonghyun or Hwasa hear her. She mustn't let any of them know how afraid she is, or how little faith she has in herself. She has to be strong, even if it is only for a little while.

 

How strong will be when she dies onscreen, in all her bloody glory? She thinks back to how hard she had pushed herself during training, working on identifying poisonous plants, and doubts that she will even get the opportunity to use those newly-gleaned skills. If luck's on her side, she'll die a little later than she expected. If it isn't, she'll be the first death today. Neither are very exciting prospects.  
  
She misses home. She misses her parents, misses her sister, misses every missed opportunity she had to be a better person back home. Like that time where she could've taken responsibility for something that went wrong, or that time where she ate selfishly instead of conserving food for her sister, or that time when her friend fell down and scraped his knee and she didn't bother helping.

 

These hang over her head like the gravest of moral judgements, making her feel already dead, even before the Games have begun.  
  
Tzuyu's the wonderchild here - what's her role then?

 

-

 

21.6 / 0700 / tribute building

 

Jeongyeon waits in the lobby, tapping her food anxiously. She's waiting for Mina, hoping that she'll get a glance of her before she's shipped off to her Launch Room. What Mina had done last night, before the elevator doors closed... was it a rejection of Jeongyeon's offer to join her in the arena? Was she genuinely angry, did she really not want to ally with Jeongyeon? Logically, she had all right to, but Jeongyeon can't help but feel the smallest big slighted.

  
"Give up on her," Eunha advises from across her. She's filing down her nails, some last-ditch attempt at vanity. "It's better to go into it without emotional attachment, yeah?"

 

"Mhm," Jeongyeon hums half-heartedly.

 

-

 

21.6 / 0715 / tribute building

 

There are no embraces. It is silent as the tributes wait for their vehicles to take them to their Launch Rooms, so quiet that for the first time in days, the undercurrent of fear is palpable.

 

Some of the tributes are praying. Momo pretends not to see.

 

-

 

21.6 / 0745 / launch room [district eight - myoui mina]

 

The swollen feeling in her throat makes it damn near impossible to eat, but she convinces herself to choke down the meal - nothing too fancy this time, just two eggs, a slice of hard bread and two pork sausages - knowing that this might be her last bit of food for a while. She makes sure not to get any of it on her uniform - good first impressions, after all.

 

_Fifteen minutes to launch._

 

-

 

21.6 / 0750 / launch room [district ten - chou tzuyu]

 

She paces around her launch room, unable to keep still. The adrenaline seems to already be flowing, it seems. Her Launch Pad is waiting in the corner of the room, but she refuses to look at it for the moment, preferring to sort out her thoughts while she makes rounds around the room.

 

The gong will go off. Tzuyu will start running and she'll grab Jihyo and whatever they need to survive, and then they'll leave. Easy as that. Nothing more to it.

 

_Ten minutes to launch._

-

 

21.6 / 0755 / launch room [district three - kim dahyun]

 

Her side is cold with the memory of Chaeyoung, and Dahyun has to blink hard to erase the thoughts. She can't afford to be this weak and sentimental five minutes to the start of the games, she tells herself. It is do or die out there.

 

_Charming_ , she can hear Chaeyoung now, scorning whatever feat the Careers might try to pull off later. It soothes her heart a little, the knowledge that Chaeyoung will be by her side later, and that they won't be an easy snack for the Careers.

  
Not weak. They're anything but weak, Chaeyoung and Dahyun. Dahyun and Chaeyoung. They've been strong since they were disciplined for starting an electrical fire in fifth grade that spread to the Peacekeepers' headquarters. (They maintain that it was an accident, but anyone who was familiar with the two of them knew better than that.) They've always been a force to reckon with.

 

And they will continue to be.

 

_Five minutes to launch._

 

-

 

21.6 / 0759 / launch room [district five - hirai momo]

 

_Third place equals third best._

She tells herself this as she steps into the waiting launch pad, holding her breath as the pod begins rising to ground level.

 

Third place equals third best. She isn't third best.

_One minute to launch._

-

 

21.6 / 0800 / arena

 

_Happy Hunger Games!_

 END OF PART ONE

 

 

 

 

PART TWO

 

_Ten._

 

Nayeon scouts the area quickly. The iconic Cornucopia is smack in the middle of the circle of the tributes - the sheer size of the thing takes away her breath away, it's so different seeing it on screen compared to now. She can spot the treasure trove of weapons within, prays that her pretense of being crossbow-inclined has followed her.

 

_Nine._

Knives, she's going to need throwing knives. She spots a roll of them not too far from her, three metres or less from where she's standing. Perfect.

 

_Eight._

Sana's looking over at her. Fuck, she looks good in her uniform, the dri-fit material of the thing clinging nicely to her body.

 

_Seven._

The landscape is typical, a foresty arena, and Nayeon can almost hear Taeyong cursing from his spot in the Tribute Building where all the mentors are gathered, no doubt hating his luck for being reaped in a year where the arena was an unforgiving tundra.

 

_Six._

She wonders if she should have had breakfast.

 

_Five._

Forget it - that girl from District Nine is throwing all of it up onto her launch pad.

 

_Four._

How good is Hirai Momo, exactly? She beat out both Two and Four - Sana wasn't happy when she saw the rankings, but masked her irritation with a preppy smile - and almost overtook Sooyeon. There must be something other than her impressive training score that makes her dangerous. Nayeon might have to rethink dismissing non-Career tributes.

 

_Three._

She spots the girl in question on her launch pad between her district partner and Jung Eunbi from Four. Momo is primed to run, her eyes fierce and her frame lithe. Adorable. She's adorable.

 

_Two._

Nayeon takes a deep breath, readying herself.

 

_One._

It doesn't matter how strong or perfect Hirai Momo is. Because Hirai Momo is only in third place. Because it's Nayeon who's at first place.

 

_Go._

Because it's Nayeon who's the best.

 

-

 

Jihyo stays calm, even as she grabs the backpack a split second before boy from District Eleven does. He falls into the floor, sliding against the grass and mud, groaning loudly as he does so. Jihyo gives him a pitiful look before stepping out of the way, guilty but satisfied that she's managed to secure this for herself.

 

Her head whips around to look for Tzuyu. It's chaos around her, but thankfully, no one has set her sights on her yet. Little battles have formed around the Cornucopia, mostly between tributes who want the same backpacks and supplies that the Careers have chosen to forego. Except-- except for--

  
Tzuyu's arm wraps around hers, forcing her to run before she can see Nayeon launch a throwing knife straight into the boy's neck. He screams, and then Jihyo can't see him any more, only Nayeon as she strides forward in the midst of this madness.

 

"We have to go," Tzuyu pants, breaking into a sprint. Jihyo keeps up well, even with her backpack slamming against her legs. They're on the outskirts of the Cornucopia, and Jihyo knows this means they're going to survive the bloodbath. They're going to get out of here.

 

Thank God.

 

-

 

This isn't how she intended to go.

 

Not so soon.

 

Minatozaki Sana giggles, tracing her fingers over Momo's mouth and nose. "You're so pretty," she says adoringly, eyes filled with something close to awe. She looks positively maniacal, and Momo's heart is pounding. Sana's a lot stronger than she looks - she'd wrestled Momo to the ground so much as a huff, and now Momo's going to die.

 

Why her?

 

"So perfect," Sana sighs, and Momo realizes that Sana is currently placed fourth, one place below Momo.

 

Oh. Is that what this is about?

 

"Too bad you're going to die," Sana pouts, and then her knife is coming out to carve Momo into dozens of little pieces.

 

Momo closes her eyes.

 

-

 

The first knife thuds itself squarely into the space beside her head, and she can't help it - she wanted to remain calm, wanted to keep cool, but she can't, not now - and opens her mouth to scream.

 

She rolls out of the way before the second one can make its mark in the middle of her forehead, shaking too hard for Nayeon to get a stable shot in. Perhaps she doesn't want Jeongyeon to thrash.

 

She sees the Career sneering, eyes dead, stalking forward to retrieve her knife, eyes flashing in rage - at being denied a clean and easy kill.

 

_No_. She told herself she wasn't going to be easy prey, and she will fulfil the promise. Jeongyeon forces herself onto her feet, propelling herself forward with sheer adrenaline. Her heartbeat pounds in her ears, blood rushing as she struggles to get away from Nayeon as fast as she can, black backpack slapping into her back as she starts running.

 

Another knife whizzes past her head, skimming past the shell of her ear before it lands far from her. She feels hot blood leak into down her lobe, the heat spreading to the entire right side of her ear. She can patch that up, if the backpack has anything she can use, or even better, if a sponsor finds her interesting enough to send gifts to.

 

Nayeon curses, and Jeongyeon can't help but smile.

 

-

 

"No!"

 

Momo's teeth sink into her bottom lip painfully as Sana rolls off her, collided into by an alien force Momo doesn't recognize.

 

But her instincts kick in quickly, and her abdomen tightens as she scrambles to her feet, grabbing the sickle that had been lying precariously close to the Cornucopia. It fits well in her hands, and she takes a second to marvel at the beauty of it before setting her sights on the losing battle in front of her.

 

It's Euigeon. It's Kang 'I've accepted my fate' Euigeon and Sana, and Sana has him pinned beneath her now, not wasting time on admiring him. Momo can see the tautness in his body as he futilely tries to fight back, his splindly frame not helping his situation.

 

Momo understands the situation faster than she should. She knows that she shouldn't endanger herself again by stepping in, because Euigeon isn't going to live through this - Sana raises her knife, and the next thing they know, blood is dribbling out from both sides of Euigeon's mouth, choking on his own spittle.

 

He knew he was going to die doing this. He knew he could've run off and leave Momo to die. And still...

 

"You took her from me," Sana screams, the _her_ too obvious from how visibly upset Sana is, her knife sliding into Euigeon's chest and out again.

 

Euigeon blinks up, past Sana, into Momo's eyes.

 

_Thank you_ , Momo mouths, and then she runs.

-

 

Chaeyoung trembles as blood splatters on her, hot and sticky, covering her ear and the entire right side of her face. The girl from District Eleven totters towards her, still coughing blood. She looks horrified, but at the same time as no way to stop it.

 

An arrow sticks out from her neck, and Chaeyoung realizes that she's crying.

 

"Please," the girl gasps, and then she's being tackled to the ground, Jung Sooyeon straddling her and stabbing her. It's quick and it's brutal and Chaeyoung is rooted to the spot as she watches the girl die, bile rising in her throat.

 

"Chaeng!"

 

Chaeyoung's heart leaps into her throat when she sees Dahyun ahead of her, screaming. She's never heard Dahyun scream before, and it forces her to sprint to her, ignoring the gruesome scene that is Sooyeon executing a girl behind her.

  
Dahyun's shaking - she looks unhurt, and there isn't any blood on her, but Chaeyoung looks down and realizes that she's gripping onto her ankle. It's reddening, swollen. She's twisted it.

 

"I'm not leaving without you," Chaeyoung says, and pulls Dahyun onto her back.

 

She doesn't lower Dahyun until they're deep into the forest.

 

-

 

Eight cannons.

 

Eight children.

 

Eight tributes die within the first ten minutes of the 80th Hunger Games.

 

-

 

Mina stops by a stream when her legs finally give out beneath her, the burn in her calves not a good indicator of her stamina.

 

Jeongyeon is nowhere to be found. She'd tried to find her in the bloodbath, but then Yuna, oh _God_ Yuna-

 

She runs her hands through the stream, the cooling water relieving the heat that's thrumming through her body, like an engine that's been driving through the searing summer heat without pause. She's thankful that the Gamemakers have decided not to poison the stream - she could have had her hands burnt off the moment she stuck them inside without thinking. She has got to be more careful.

 

She sits back on her haunches, reviewing the events that've transpired.

 

One - she got out of the Cornucopia, and by association, the bloodbath. She's one of the remaining sixteen tributes.

 

Two - Yuna is dead. Mina watched the boy from District Six strike her down with an axe, seconds before he, too, was killed by a Career from District Four. She watched two people die, and ran before she could.

 

Three - Jeongyeon is nowhere is to be found.

 

She'd known all of this already, but the issue of Jeongyeon troubles her the most. Is Jeongyeon dead? She knows that that can't be the case. Jeongyeon is smart, and would've gotten out of the bloodbath with ease. Would she have looked for Mina? Is her not being here a sure sign of her death?

 

It would be foolish to look for her now, Mina decides. It seems that Jeongyeon has slipped from her grasp forever, and that she has no choice but to accept it.

 

-

 

"I can't believe Yongsun lost," Eunbi spits irritably, and Nayeon glares at her.

 

They're in the now-deserted Cornucopia, watching the hovercrafts come around and pick up the fallen tributes. Yongsun had been the last to be picked up, Sana's district partner not even warranting a second glance from any of them.

 

"Me too," Sana says. "I'm disappointed. I thought she was strong."

 

Nayeon thinks back to the two nights she'd spent listening to Yongsun cry, and sneers inwardly. Yongsun was never strong, not like them - she'd even ranked the lowest of the Careers, coming in at a solid tenth place.

 

She supposes that they can't all be winners.

 

-

 

Jeongyeon's heart is still hammering at her ribcage an hour after she settles down, in a sparse area of the forest far from the Cornucopia. The throbbing in her ear has calmed down to merely a sting, so that's one thing to be thankful for. She doesn't want to go dripping blood everywhere.

  
She brings a hand up to the side of her face, wincing when she feels the burn of exposed flesh. Nayeon's knife had sliced some of the skin right off, but it's not that deep of a wound.

 

Nayeon... That liar. She must've set Jeongyeon up from the very beginning, made something up about Sana just to throw her off - she had it in for her from the beginning. Well, Jeongyeon isn't deceived by that now. She's seen through Nayeon's lies.

  
She sets out the things from the backpack she got in the Cornucopia on the ground in front of her. It's not much, just a knife, two stripes of beef jerky, a roll of bandages, a tube of iodine, as well as a pair of night-vision goggles. Nothing she can currently use, since she's decided that the cut on her face doesn't require urgent medical attention. It's just a matter of toughing things out now.

 

Let the Games begin.

 

-

 

Dahyun's drenched in sweat by the time they get to the stream, cringing aloud whenever she accidentally puts too much weight on her foot. Chaeyoung can tell that she's trying not to bother her by asking her to hold her, simply gripping hard onto the first-aid kit she'd spotted on the outskirts of the Cornucopia.

 

"Sit down," Chaeyoung says sympathetically, and Dahyun huffs, landing hard on the ground, eyes already halfway closed.

 

She turns her attention away from Dahyun to the device in her hands, an odd contraption with wires sticking out of it. She'd grabbed it on the way into the forest, seconds before Dahyun had tripped over her own feet and twisted her ankle, and has had no time to properly look at it.

 

They'd both agreed not to venture too close to the Cornucopia - a mistake characteristic of their district - and run away as fast as they can together, and a part of Chaeyoung is still incredulous that it worked. It's not often that the tributes from District Three survive the bloodbath, especially because they're flanked by Districts Two and Four, who see them as easy pickings. Half the battle's already been won by getting away from the Corucopia.

 

"Any idea what this could be?" Chaeyoung asks, showing Dahyun the device. The other girl pauses from trying to sit comfortably to appraise the device, the small screen and the pair of antenna sticking out from the top drawing an amused smile from her.

  
"Walkie-talkie?"

 

"No buttons," Chaeyoung says, smoothing her fingers around the back of the device to confirm her suspicions. She wishes she was back home - she has no doubt anyone in the district would be able to identify what she's looking at, and has no doubt that it would help her out. The Capitol probably placed it in the Cornucopia haul for her. "Oh, there's a power button."

 

She presses it, and a number 1 appears on the screen, followed by static bursting from the device.

 

"Chaeng!" Dahyun hisses, eyes wary, but the device interrupts.  
  
_"That girl from 12 ran away before I could get her."_

That's Im Nayeon's voice.

 

Dahyun's mouth is wide open, and Chaeyoung is almost trembling when she presses the button again, the use for this machine sinking in.

 

Another number 1. There's just the sound of trees swaying and leaves crunching.

 

Number 2. It's a high-pitched female voice, complaining about how boring it is to be stuck on guard duty. Dahyun's eyes widen when she realizes that it's Minatozaki Sana, the weird girl from District Two.

 

The next number 2 is nothing but static, and Chaeyoung gulps. There's only one thing that could mean.

 

Number 3. "Ah," Chaeyoung says, and a split second later, the device parrots it back to her.

 

"It works!" Dahyun exclaims, and the device chirps it out as well. "Goddamn, this is amazing."

 

Both 4s include Minatozaki Sana's complaining, and Chaeyoung deduces that they're all together in the quintissential Career pack. Im Nayeon's voice comes over the line, and Chaeyoung shivers.

 

The first 5 is static. Her heart sinks.

 

Chaeyoung sighs, clicking to the next number. It's silence across the next 5, leaves rustling as the tribute walks, and Chaeyoung clicks boredly to the 6 that crops up. "Where do you think he is?" She asks Dahyun, keeping in mind the boy from Six. He wasn't that brawny, but he could hurt them if he wanted.

  
The rustle behind them should be adequate warning.

 

_Where do you think he is?_ the device says, and a knife sinks into Chaeyoung's shoulder.


	4. heaven

This isn't the best of days for Dahyun.

  
She throws herself at the District Six boy, the splindly boy looking oddly proud of himself for having hit his mark for a split second before Dahyun crashes into his chest.

 

Soil is kicked up as she searches for any bit of exposed skin through his uniform, any bit of pain that she can inflict. She rakes her nails across the boy's face. Thrown off guard, he yells in pain, shoving Dahyun backwards. She falls.

 

Chaeyoung's screaming, forcing a fist into her mouth and biting down hard to quell her screams. Dahyun's ankle is screaming with pain, and she curses herself for tripping when running from the Cornucopia.

 

And then the boy's screaming, too, and Dahyun feels slick on her hands, hot and slippery. She looks down, and her hands are glittering with crimson diamonds. Blood that etches itself into the lines on her palm, blood that is thick and slimy.

 

Blood that isn't hers.

 

Chaeyoung's still writhing, and Dahyun knows that she'll need copious amounts of medical support as soon as possible, but she is dumbfounded, looking from her bloody hands to Hirai Momo.

 

The District Six boy weakly gurgles, toppling backwards onto the ground. He isn't moving.

 

Neither is Dahyun.

 

"Please," she blurts out, cold sweat forming on the back of her neck. "Don't kill her."

 

She comes to a few conclusions within the precious few seconds that Momo doesn't move. Firstly, that she wouldn't mind giving herself up if it meant Chaeyoung would live. She doesn't know where the sudden burst of fierce loyalty and care for her friend comes from, but it settles at the base of her ribcage like a disease, gripping and intense.

 

Second - if Momo wanted her dead, she would already be. She's not a threat, and Momo must know that. Momo had killed the boy in a terrifyingly short period of time. She could do the same to a handicapped and limping Dahyun if she wanted.

 

Third - if she hasn't, it must mean something.

 

The adrenaline from the moment has died down, draining from her veins and leaving her more exhausted and in pain than ever. Momo's saying something, her lips are moving, but she can't hear anything - perhaps Momo's getting her to read her lips?

  
She looks over to Chaeyoung, and sees more blood than she thought Chaeyoung contained in her entire frame, smeared on her shoulder, dripping onto the ground. It's seeping into the soil, dyeing it a dark red.

 

Momo is still mouthing something. Dahyun squints, but her vision's getting blurrier by the second.

 

So she does the most sensible thing in this situation - her knees give way, and she passes out.

 

-

 

This isn't how things were supposed to happen. Not on camera, at least.

  
Eunbi and Sojung were supposed to go pick off any stragglers foolish enough to wander on the outskirts of the forest - and they have, which is good because they're obedient and willing to do anything to get rid of their competition.

 

Sooyeon is standing guard outside, probably ruminating to herself how much she wants to see Taeyong again. And she's doing a good job, probably, despite how much she and Nayeon vehemently dislike each other and how opposed she probably is to taking orders from Nayeon.

 

Sana and Nayeon are in the Cornucopia itself, staying alert in case anything crops up. They're all doing what they were told to.

 

Except that Sana shouldn't be in Nayeon's lap right now.

 

Sana grinds down in Nayeon's lap, _hard_ , and Nayeon gasps into the other girl's mouth. Sana is _everywhere_ \- squirming in her lap, scratching down her back, the heat between their mouths unbearable. Nayeon feels the last of her self-control wear away when Sana grinds down again.   
  
She hasn't felt this needy in a long time.   
  
Sana bites on her lower lip, tongue pushing hard against Nayeon's, and Nayeon feels herself loosen.

 

"Please," Sana murmurs, and Nayeon lets her.

  
What's a camera to teenage hormones, anyway?

 

-

 

Mina flinches when the cannon goes off. She can't pinpoint the direction of the shot, which would probably benefit her in one way or another. The Gamemakers must want maximum collision between the tributes.

  
With that cannon... how many deaths has it been? Nine? More than that? How close can her own demise be?

  
For the fifth time today, she wishes that she had Jeongyeon with her. She's still fervent in her belief that Jeongyeon isn't dead, that she's still holding out somewhere in this arena, looking for Mina as hard as Mina is for her. Jeongyeon would know what to do now, apart from aimlessly walking through the forest in a bid to just keep walking.

 

Maybe she's hunting down the Careers now, fighting her way through the Games and having no mercy. Or maybe she's mortally injured, huddled up and crying herself to an early grave. Would she be unlucky enough for that to happen to her?   
  
No, Mina decides. That wouldn't happen to Jeongyeon. Maybe herself, though.   
  
What would Jeongyeon do? Mina spots a tall bed of rocks veering off to the right, steps off her path to take a look at it. Leaves crunch beneath her feet, but she isn't fooled by the natural feel and look of things - every last bit of this arena was manufactured, and she has to keep that in mind. She can't have too much trust in anything.

 

She comes face-to-face with the rocks. It's a tall structure, way taller than Mina is. This would be a good hiding spot, if she could find an opening. It's hardy, too. Probably fireproof, seeing as how no moss coats the rocks, how unnaturally smooth they are.

 

"Mina? Is that you?"   


She recognizes the voice instantly, and thanks her lucky stars. There's nothing on her that she could fight back with.

 

But maybe Jeongyeon wants to fight. Maybe she's come here to kill Mina, maybe she doesn't care for any of the words she'd said at the tribute building.

 

Then they make eye contact, and all Mina's doubts vanish.

 

-

 

"Thank you," Dahyun says quietly.

 

Momo is sitting opposite her, cleaning her freakishly long sickle of the District Six boy's blood. It's an ugly sight, but Dahyun takes comfort in the fact that she could be dead right now.

  
"No problem," Momo shrugs, and Dahyun can tell that it really isn't any problem. "Just take care of your friend." She nods to Chaeyoung, and Dahyun suppresses another reflexive shudder. (She's been having lots of those recently.)

 

Chaeyoung is uncomfortably warm in Dahyun's lap, burning up with a fever that can't be cured by anything in their backpacks. The gush of blood at her shoulder has stopped, suppressed by a strip of cloth Momo had ripped from her own bloodstained shirt, but it's also signaled by the paleness of Chaeyoung's skin.

 

Momo had assured her that Chaeyoung would live, though, albeit significantly weakened. That Dahyun can cling on to, for the time being.   
  
A thought strikes her. "You're not staying?" Dahyun asks, and Momo shakes her head. She pretends not to be disappointed - she can't say she's surprised. Momo doesn't owe them anything, not her company, not her skills. But it would have been nice to have someone to protect them, even if it was only temporarily. "Then why did you do it?"

 

"You mean why I killed him?"

 

Dahyun nods, wondering if it's wandering into too-personal territory. The look on Momo's face is undecipherable, save for a small grimace that contorts her face gloomily.

 

"My friend gave his life to save me during the bloodbath," Momo confesses, running her finger down the side of her blade. "One of the Careers was about to kill me, and he tackled her and died for me. I just wanted to do the same." She shakes her head, "That's another thing, too. I can't stay because the Careers are drawn to me. They want me dead."

  
"What? Why?"

 

"I don't know. But that girl from Two - Minatozaki Sana - and her friend, they have it in for me. It's best if I stay alone."

 

"Alright," Dahyun agrees, not liking the idea of bloodthirsty Careers coming after her as much as the next person. She can't help but admire Momo's demeanor, the cool, measured way she speaks about the Careers. As if they're just minor inconveniences, nothing to worry too much about. She doesn't think she'd be able to keep the same cool head if it were her. "I'll see you around, then."  


Momo stands, offering her hand to Dahyun. Her eyes flick down to Chaeyoung in pity as they shake on it, and she looks as if she's about to say something before she shakes herself out of her reverie.

 

"Stay safe, Dahyun."

 

-

 

Jihyo pulls her knife from the boy's neck, cursing internally when blood drips onto her feet. It'll be a bitch to clean off, that's for sure.

 

"Unnie," Tzuyu breathes, placing a hand on her shoulder slowly. Jihyo thinks how she'd be dead if she was the District Seven boy lying dead at her feet - after all, it had been a touch on her shoulder that had caused her to turn around and go for his neck.

 

It's okay, she tells herself. _It was us or him. I had no choice_.

 

And that's what she tells Tzuyu, though her voice is splintering and she feels like she might faint anytime soon. She hates how weak she is, how afraid she is of confronting her innermost thoughts - her knees feel like they're going to buckle beneath her as she speaks.

 

"I had to do it."

 

"I..." Tzuyu trails off, looking uncertain as to what she should say. Is she afraid that she might anger Jihyo? Jihyo feels something rise within her, feels like she might cry and laugh at the same time.   
  
"Just say you understand," Jihyo whispers. " _Please_."

 

They lock eyes, and Tzuyu's eyes run over her face. She must notice how hard Jihyo is trembling, because her hands come around Jihyo, pull her close and hug her tightly. She's stepping on Jihyo's bloodied shoes and her front must be stained with the blood that had gotten on Jihyo's shirt, but Jihyo doesn't care. Not when she has Tzuyu this close.

 

"I understand," Tzuyu promises, and Jihyo has never felt this broken before.

 

-

 

Night falls shortly after the last cannon of the day fires, and Nayeon stretches languidly on her back. They're outside the Cornucopia, all five of them, watching the sky as the projection of the end-of-day broadcast comes on.

 

Sana squirms against her as the Capitol crest comes on, body warm and malleable, and Nayeon wonders if she's uncomfortable for a split second before she realizes that Sana's just trying to get comfy. She's snuggling into Nayeon, legs pressed closer together than Nayeon deems appropriate, but really, who's watching?

  
It's not like it's a bad thing, anyway. Nayeon likes having someone by her side, so utterly devoted to her. It's great and Nayeon feels loved like this.

 

The eight faces from the bloodbath pop up on the screen. Nayeon appraises each of them - they all cringe at the sight of Yongsun's face. A failed Career, that was what she was.

 

Sana huffs when Kang Euigeon's face is flashed in the sky. Nayeon doesn't know much about him, only that he'd stopped Sana from killing Hirai Momo during the bloodbath, and that Sana killed him slowly and painfully for that mistake. She's even more hellbent on getting her hands on Momo now, like a spoilt child who had her toy taken from her.

 

The boy from District Eleven pops up, and Nayeon smirks to herself, feeling pride flit through her. It's childish, to have killed him over a personal grudge when she could've let his pathetic existence struggle through the Games and let someone else pick him off, but Nayeon had loved every anguished cry he'd let out.

 

His district partner is dead too, an unimpressive girl on all fronts, and Sooyeon clasps her hands together when she sees her face in the sky. Sojung and Eunbi look bored the whole time but have the decency to stay outside with them and not go inside and tie knots - or whatever it is that those District Four tributes do. Nayeon makes a mental note to do something fun with them soon.

 

There are only two faces left after the bloodbath deaths, a boy from Six and another one from Seven. This means that both Six and Eleven have lost both tributes. Nayeon's heart aches for them.

 

Well, a little.

 

-

 

Momo straps herself into a tree by the light of the nightly announcements as the last face in the sky is shown, bouncing a little to test the weight of the branch (though in retrospect, she really should've done that earlier). Thankfully, it stays put, barely even trembling, and Momo adjusts herself, leaning flat against the thick branch.

  
She's not a high places sort of person - she'd much prefer staying on the ground and sleeping against a tree, or fashioning a hideout for her comfort, but she can't risk anything on the first night of the Games. She's managed to stay ahead of ten other tributes, but she can't be complacent.

  
As it turns out, she's ahead of twenty-one, if you count the ones that are still alive. The tribute rankings are shown in the sky before the national anthem plays, the dead at the bottom and struck out, with only fourteen places left for the remaining tributes to sort themselves out. (She winces when she sees Euigeon in the ranks of the struck-out.)

 

She's in fourth place now, with Sana moving up and past her to claim second place, Jung Sooyeon being relegated to third place. The rankings, surprisingly, have taken a huge hit, with some of the higher-ups dead by now, with others easily taking their place.

 

Im Nayeon, in all her smirking glory, is still the Capitol's favourite to win. Momo imagines the Capitol betters throwing wads of money on the table, ordering Nayeon's mentor to send her little... encouragements for her to win. She knows that a gift could mean the difference between Nayeon winning and her losing - it's happened before, with especially wealthy benefactors sending in Games-ending weapons to their favourite tributes.

 

_You're not third-best anymore. Now it's fourth-best._

 

Momo presses herself a little tighter to her branch.

 

-

 

Mina cries out when Yuna's face appears in the sky. Mina's district partner is resplendent in the profile picture all of them had lined up to take the other day, long black hair framing her face prettily.

 

"She didn't deserve to die," Mina whimpers into Jeongyeon's shoulder, when the anthem has finished playing and when the sky is dark once again. "She's the most popular girl back home, she had so many friends to go home to--" She cuts off with a choked sob, balling her fists.

 

Jeongyeon wants to tell her _I know how it feels_ , because her own district partner's face flashed a moment after Yuna's had. The pain in her own chest, and undeniably her own mentor's, is unparalleled.

 

But Mina doesn't want empathy, Jeongyeon knows. She wants a shoulder to cry on and a sounding board for her fears.

 

And if that's the least Jeongyeon can be -- then so be it.

 

-

 

Jihyo wakes up to a cooling mist and the sound of Tzuyu's screams.

 

She's awake in an instant, the light of the breaking dawn illuminating her surroundings, but only barely. Her knife, still dirty from yesterday, is still by her side, and so is Tzuyu's backpack. It's wide open, the zip pulled all the way down to spill the backpack's contents onto the ground, and this is the first red flag that sets off alarms in Jihyo's head.

 

Against her better judgement, she calls out. "Tzuyu? Where are you?"

 

"UNNIE!" Comes the scream again, and Jihyo's heart skips a beat. No, no, no. This can't be happening. Not now. Not so _early_. What happened last night should've been the only brush with death they'd have the whole Games. She can't be in danger, not now.

 

She steels herself, wrapping her hand firmly around the hilt of her knife, and breaks into a sprint. Tzuyu's screams are getting more spaced out now, but Jihyo can there before they stop entirely if she tries hard enough. This _isn't_ the end. Not by a long shot.

 

She's prepared to run for as long as she can, but then stops abruptly, her heart still pounding from the adrenaline.   
  
Something's not right.

 

There's something wrong with what's happening right now. She can't place it, not yet, but it's a niggling feeling at the base of her stomach, warning her that something's off. Like the foreboding preceding a bad decision...

 

Tzuyu's screams increase in intensity and frequency when she begins thinking that. As if... as if Tzuyu knows that Jihyo's doubting the authencity of her shouts.

 

Almost as if...   
  
Jihyo turns around, walking back to where she started. The backpack is still on the ground, but it's fully zipped up. Tzuyu's sleeping bag is all rolled up, resting beside the backpack.

 

"UNNIE!"   
  
"Not real," Jihyo laughs, her heart squeezing in relief. She hadn't expected the Gamemakers to field this trick of theirs that early, especially given the ten (presumably thrilling) deaths from yesterday.

 

Every Games Jihyo can remember has used this gimmick - it's predictable, but there's also nothing the tributes can do to fend against this. And thus, year after year, the Gamemakers bring it back to entertain the Capitol crowds with montages of horrified children thinking that their families and loved ones are dying.

 

Now that she's dismissed the hallucination completely, Tzuyu's screams are gone, the mist having cleared completely. She won't make it on national television, probably - her reaction wasn't over the top or as exciting as it could have been. There are probably tributes out there who _know_ it's fake, but are hamming it up for screentime and sponsors. And she would do it too, she really would - except she wouldn't.

 

Jihyo makes it back to their little campsite, ready to laugh about it with Tzuyu, maybe ask about her hallucinations. She trusts that Tzuyu will handle it well - the girl is young, but she's proved that she's mature.

 

For the first time in a while, Jihyo feels calm and at peace with herself.

 

Until she realizes that Tzuyu, along with all of her things, is gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> run-up to chapter 5. it'll be... interesting. :)


	5. can't bring me down

Silver parachutes descend gently onto their sleeping bags, landing in a perfectly drawn circle. Five - one for each of them.

 

The first few growls permeate the air, and Nayeon is the first one to realize that something is wrong.

 

-

 

They're trying to bring the tributes together. Nayeon feels her heart twinge irritably as she scrambles to her feet, flicking the torchlight on - light is rapidly seeping from the arena, and she knows that it isn't natural. The hallucination-inducing fog had been underwhelming, she guesses, which means that they had to pull out another set of arena gimmicks for the entertainment of the Capitol. Anything for more kills.

 

She shakes the last of the sleep from her body, jogging to keep up with Sooyeon, who's leading the pack.

 

"The mutts are coming," Sooyeon says, not turning to face Nayeon. Nayeon didn't need Sooyeon to tell her that - the growls are all around them now - but she grunts anyway, not in the mood to argue. Sojung and Eunbi bring up the end of the pack, their flashlights cutting twin beams across the landscape of the forest.   
  
"We need to get away," Nayeon declares, "Or as far as we can go before the Gamemakers decide to set them on someone else. They probably chose us based on location, we must be close to someone, if we get away in time-"

 

She loses herself in her rambling, because her eyes are beginning to glaze over, and she almost misses the way Sooyeon's eyes widen, the way she squares herself a little more in anticipation of what's to come.

 

She shakes her head, looking behind her. "No time for that now. Run."

 

-

 

For the first time in these Games, Sana feels alive. It's tiring constantly being the predator, chasing with no one breathing down your neck. It takes the fun out of the kill-or-be-killed situation, really. Sana's disappointed. She may be winning this anyway, but still - she wants a little realism, a little excitement.

  
This is the best thing that's happened these two days. That, and Nayeon, of course. Nayeon's great, but the rush Nayeon gives her when she touches her isn't comparable to the sheer thrill of having a pack of rabid wolves chase after you.

  
They aren't supposed to kill, only threaten - and that's great and all, but it disappoints Sana again. She'd wanted to see some bloodshed. Maybe they can feed Sojung to the mutts later and watch her body be shredded through their gaping maws - she'd like that very much.

 

Ahead of her, other beams from flashlights are poking out, and Sana forces herself ahead of Sooyeon and Nayeon at the sight, brushing past Nayeon's side as she dashes forward.   
  
"Who's there?" A shout comes from where the flashlights are, and Sana smirks. She hears Nayeon slowing down behind her, pulling out her throwing knives.

 

It's a pair of boys - the last two boys in the arena, Sana's sure - and they look more terrified than anything. They're unarmed, and Sana considers going easy on them. After all, there's no fun in dying easily, without having a chance to fight back. It's bordering on unfair.

  
Before she can consider the morals and ethics behind that, though, Nayeon and Sooyeon throw knives into each of the boys' foreheads, barely even stopping to watch them fall backwards, and that's the end of the matter. (Nayeon _does_ stop to step on their foreheads and retrieve her knives, Sana supposes that it's only practical.)

 

-

  
They move steadily, like a well-oiled machine, fast enough to keep ahead of the mutts, but slow enough so that the mutts can keep pace, their bloodied jaws snapping threateningly in the dark. They slow down to make sure that they'll have enough energy for when the Gamemakers decide that this is getting boring. They can't have a Career pack smashing through the Games, after all. It wouldn't be fun enough.

 

A real fun Hunger Games keeps everyone on their toes, not allowing the Career pack to be as cocky as they'd like to be. That's the type of thing the Capitol likes, especially the people who like betting on the underdogs.

 

They think they're doing something noble, because they place their money on children from the outlying districts. And sometimes, they win, so harshly against the odds that they're ridiculed across the Career districts who secretly hate the thought of someone beating their tributes.

 

Maybe these mutts are meant to be their demise, though Sana doubts it.

  
Or maybe the Gamemakers are just going to set the wolves on someone else, like Nayeon had predicted. Maybe they're not interesting enough to give the Capitol a show. The thought sends anger flaring in the pit of Sana's stomach. She's always been able to give a good show, and this won't be an exception.

 

-

 

Tzuyu is lost. Hopelessly, utterly, totally lost.

 

Her axe is strapped to her belt, but apart from that, she doesn't have anything else. She'd woken up to relieve herself a few metres from Jihyo, and then the mist had descended... and then what had happened? She only remembers trying to look for the tree with the symbol where they'd set up camp, had tottered away from her spot, and then nothing.

 

She can't recall anything from the morning after that pivotal moment, and since then, she's been disoriented, as if tumbling through a fog that doesn't end, a maze with no exit. The forest is familiar and foreign at the same time, and Tzuyu's afraid.

 

It's so, so _dark_.

 

-

 

"Help!" Eunbi screams, and by the thud and snarl that vibrates in the air behind them, Nayeon guesses correctly that the Gamemakers have finally forced the mutts to hurry up, to give their adoring audience a little excitement. "Guys, help me!"

  
"Leave her," Sooyeon says, breaking into a sprint, eyebrows furrowed.

  
"What?" Sojung yells, anger and indignance radiating off her, "We can't leave her behind!" There's so many things she doesn't understand, and she cuts a firm figure in the darkness, hands on her hips as Eunbi's cries quieten rapidly.

 

"Yes, we can," Sooyeon mutters, giving Nayeon a look that tells her to keep up. Sana seems to understand, and crashes into the nearest thickness of trees in a feverish attempt to lose the mutts. The two District One tributes follow instinctively. Nayeon thinks she can see Sana laughing.

 

There's a sickening crunch, a snap of a pair of jaws, and then Sojung curses and runs into the pack of mutts.

 

That's how they lose two tributes in two minutes, and how the end begins.

 

-

 

Nayeon's knife carves a clean strip of Tzuyu's shirt away, missing her abdomen by barely an inch. She yelps, ducking when a knife flies straight over her head, embedding itself deep into the trunk of a tree.  
  
The knives stop for a little while, because Nayeon is just as occupied as she is with the mutts. Tzuyu hears the growls of the mutts be cut off in rapid succession, Nayeon's knives whistling through the air like well-aimed bullets. She uses the opportunity to keep running, searching for what she's been looking for. Where is it, where is it--

 

She can hear Nayeon beginning to give chase, she and her Career cronies hollering as their footsteps beat through the forest, and Tzuyu hastens her pace. It _hurts_ , but she has to keep going. She hurtles through the dark like a madwoman on a mission, determined to find Jihyo again. She couldn't have gotten that lost in such a short amount of time. Jihyo could be anywhere around here.

  
There it is-- the tree!

 

Light from Nayeon's flashlight lands on Tzuyu. "There she is," She mutters to Sooyeon, coming closer, taking aim.

 

Strong arms grasp Tzuyu by the collar, "There you are," Jung Sooyeon purrs.

  
And in the most charged moment of her life -- Tzuyu drops her axe. She could heft it up and bury it into Sooyeon's head, damn the consequences. It would save her life.

 

She takes one look at Sooyeon and goes weak in the knees. She thinks she might be crying from fear, hot tears slipping down her face, and jsut prays that she doesn't piss herself. How humiliating would it be, to piss herself on national television in the face of a Career tribute?

 

Sooyeon raises her eyebrows, knife tracing a delicate line along Tzuyu's throat, breath warm on Tzuyu's neck. She's like a shark hankering down for the kill, about to bite down and savour her fleshy prey.

 

"Sooyeon," Nayeon calls out, quiet, and the knife on Tzuyu's throat lifts.

 

"What?" Sooyeon says impatiently, her grip still strong on Tzuyu to prevent her from running. Not that she would have the strength to - Tzuyu realizes that the rumours about the Careers training for years for the Games aren't unfounded. Jung Sooyeon is a terrifyingly _real_ example of that.

 

Nayeon doesn't say anything, only steps around Tzuyu and appraises her from head to toe. The girl Tzuyu guesses is Minatozaki Sana flanks her side, cute face scrunched up slightly. Sooyeon looks similarly irritated - Nayeon seems to be the only one here who knows what's happening.

 

"You're Chou Tzuyu, aren't you?"

 

"Y-yes."

 

"Join us," Nayeon says simply, not giving any reason as to why. Her companions look similarly surprised, but don't question her. Maybe they're afraid of her.   
  
Tzuyu hasn't fully recovered from the shock of having Sooyeon shove her up against a tree and press a knife to her neck, and Nayeon mistakes it for hesitance. "Or do you not want to?"

 

Her words have taken on a dangerous tone, and Tzuyu knows the implications behind it. If she doesn't join them, she dies. Nayeon will tell Sooyeon to slash across Tzuyu's throat (and Tzuyu has an inkling that Sooyeon won't mind), and that'll be the end of her. Jihyo will only see her in the sky tonight-

 

Jihyo wouldn't be in this situation right now. She would've gotten away from the Careers, probably. She wouldn't even have gotten lost in the first place.

But that's not what's important now.

 

"Okay," Tzuyu breathes, and Nayeon smiles.

 

-

 

Chaeyoung is conscious, and Dahyun's thankful to see her fiddling with their magic device that got them into all this trouble in the first place when she gets back from the stream. She drops an iodine tablet from the medkit into the pitcher of water, shaking the bottle so the water's as clean as she can get it.

 

"How do you feel?"

 

"Shitty," Chaeyoung croaks, flipping to another channel of static. There are more static channels than active ones now, signalling a worrying turn in the Games. The culling has already begun, and they're caught right in the middle of it.

 

"Can you walk?" Dahyun asks curiously.

 

"I should be asking you that. I'm fine, Dahyun."

 

Dahyun laughs, rubbing her ankle. It still hurts when she puts too much weight on it, but as far as she's concerned, it had only been a minor sprain that she'd bounced back from. It's nowhere as serious as the bloody wound in Chaeyoung's shoulder, at any rate - that wound is an ugly shade of red, dried blood littering the area and the indentation where the knife had slid in obvious. Chaeyoung can barely lift her arms, and she's taken to hiding her groans of pain whenever the wound is agitated.   
  
But Momo was right - she'll live.

 

Dahyun pauses, wondering if she should tell Chaeyoung more about the girl who saved their lives. She'd been quiet after Momo had taken her leave, only mentioning that Momo had done it out of the goodness of her own heart, but Chaeyoung deserves to know who she owes her life to.

 

If neither of them get out of here alive -- Dahyun wants Momo to win. She deserves it, even if it was for that small moment of humanity. (Maybe that's why she'd dropped in the tribute rankings, because she'd done something the Capitol didn't like.)

 

Would she do the same? If Chaeyoung died -- would Dahyun save someone else in her name? Or would she just kill mindlessly, intent on avenging Chaeyoung? The thought is troubling, like many of Dahyun's most recent thoughts.

 

"Just checking," she sighs, leaning back against Chaeyoung. "Just checking."

 

-

 

"No," Mina curses, her grip on Jeongyeon's shirt tightening. She pulls the both of them backwards, and they land heavily into the bush, Jeongyeon breathing hard from the exertion. They're both burning up with sweat and fear after they'd almost tripped up the traps the Careers had set - by blind luck, none of them were there to attack. But that's the least of their worries now, because they're cornered.

 

Why'd she have to run so noisily? If she'd been a little smarter, perhaps she wouldn't be stuck here now, waiting for the tribute to leave them alone. _Please, pretend that you never saw us..._

 

She clamps a hand over her mouth in horror as the tribute comes closer. She's holding a weapon that's impossibly long, like a sickle with an elongated handle... a scythe. That's what it is, and Mina shudders at what looks like dried blood on the blade. How many has she killed already?

  
As silently as she can, she searches for her knife. It's where it should be, strapped to her pants, but she unbuckles the strap and fits it in her hand. She doesn't want to fight. Never wants to fight. But if it comes down to it, and if she needs to defend herself and Jeongyeon, she'll do it. Choosing your own battles is a luxury that no one in these Games is allowed.

 

She's coming closer, and Jeongyeon shrinks beside her. Her eyes are wide with horror, but Mina places a comforting hand on her knee, trying to convey her message with her eyes. _Stay behind me. We'll get out of this._

_Well, one of us, at least._

That night in the tribute building seems so far away now - could it only have been two days ago? That timeline is entirely detached from this feverish nightmare, where more than half of the people Mina had watched train are dead and being shipped back to their districts. It's like she's in another dimension, where everything is different and jagged, where she's turning into someone she never thought she'd see in the mirror.

 

The scythe comes down, within an inch of Mina's face. It's a short, definitive stroke, but it's all Mina needs to set her entire being ablaze with fear.

 

The girl hums, sounding disinterested, but Mina can see the thoughtfulness on her face. She's been doing this with the past few bushes - she knows that she'll perform another strike down, just to make sure that there's no inkling of Mina and Jeongyeon.

 

Mina bursts from the bushes, unable to take the suspense just as the tribute raises her scythe again.

 

Now that they're face-to-face, in a chilling moment, Mina scrutinizes her, realizes that this is Hirai Momo, the girl who'd beat out the Careers during training. So this is the face of a killer, she thinks, and slashes forward.

 

She hits empty air - Momo raises her scythe before Mina can connect with her, and Mina's blade reflects uselessly off the body of the weapon. Momo brings her scythe up to deflect another strike, seemingly knowing that she's not going to be able to fight at close quarters due to the sheer size of her weapon.

 

Jeongyeon rushes forward too, fumbling for her knife. Momo backs away from the two of them, eyes flicking down to the knife that Mina's wielding.

 

She could kill her right now. Momo's cornered, and if Mina got her pinned down, she'd be able to disarm her, maybe stab her while she's at it. Jeongyeon would help hold her down. Momo would be out of the competition for good, and they'd be one step closer to fulfiling their dream of having one of them go home.

 

Momo knows this too, and she bows her head, the fight going out of her.

  
Here's what should happen: Mina stabs Momo in the stomach, and stabs until Momo closes her eyes for the last time. She doesn't have remorse and does it because she was forced to, because the only choice she has is to kill, because she's just as cornered as Momo is. She tells herself that it wasn't her fault and that she'll honour Momo as best as she can when she leaves the arena.

 

Here's what really happens.

 

Mina doesn't do it. Because she can't, because she won't, and because the only way she envisions leaving the arena is with Jeongyeon.

 

"I can't," she whispers, her voice bordering on tears. Momo is frozen on the spot, and Mina feels the ghost of Jeongyeon's touch. "I'm sorry."

 

Momo blinks like a deer in headlights, and Mina uses the opportunity to turn and run.

 

-

 

The thing about fever dreams is that they always feel unforgivably _real_.

 

Chaeyoung wakes up with Dahyun's palm clamped around her mouth, and it doesn't help to calm her down, only increasing her sense of urgency because Dahyun is trying to shut her up, Dahyun is trying to kill her-

 

"Chaeng," Dahyun hisses, and Chaeyoung shakes, the last vestiges of the dream fading as Dahyun moves her hand away. It's still light out, but Chaeyoung is shivering like it's already night. She feels laughably weak, and groans audibly when her shoulder pulses, as if to confirm that feeling.

 

"Sorry," Chaeyoung says. "I didn't mean for you to-"  


"It's fine," Dahyun cuts her off, though her eyes are elsewhere.

 

-

 

"Here," Jeongyeon presses a strip of beef jerky into Jihyo's hands, and the girl smiles gratefully, peeling open the wrapper to expose the cured meat. It's every bit as juicy as Jihyo'd envisioned it to be as she bites down, and she sighs happily.

 

They eat in silence - if anything, Jihyo in sheer wonder of the kindness that Jeongyeon's shown, and the other two out of unadulterated exhaustion. They don't attempt to disguise how tired they are - even with the smile plastered on her face, Jeongyeon has dark circles around her eyes, no doubt from the rough days they've spent in the arena. Her friend, Mina, looks worse for wear, her gaze faraway and chews slow.

 

"You can have the rest of my food," Mina says, folding up the packet and giving it to Jeongyeon. She nods at Jihyo politely, scooting into another corner of the little cave hideout and curls up into a ball.

 

Jihyo opens her mouth to speak, to ask about Mina and if she's alright, but the look in Jeongyeon's eyes advise that it'd be better if she didn't. Jihyo guesses that it must be for the best.

 

Stumbling upon Jeongyeon and Mina had been a total coincidence - Jihyo had been searching for another place to set up camp, and had spotted this peculiar cluster of rocks. Jeongyeon had laughed and welcomed her in the most comforting way Jihyo's faced possibly in her whole life, ushering in and remarking that both she and Mina had found this cluster of rocks without any trouble.

  
And now she has two new allies, both who are - really - the nicest people on earth. Mina looks roughed up, but she'd been kind to Jihyo when Jeongyeon first received her, taking her bag for her and placing it on the ground beside everything else.

 

Tzuyu would like her.

 

-

 

The deaths and rankings come on in the sky at the same time as yesterday. Today, Momo pays rapt attention, still cold with the knowledge that the faces of the Careers from Four could as easily be that of hers or Myoui Mina's.   
  
She still can't find words for what had happened back there, in the bushes - she'd been so dead-set on finding Myoui Mina and Yoo Jeongyeon, who'd evaded her and dived into the bushes at the last moment. Why had she done that? It's kill or be killed, but does it justify going after them like that?

 

Mina shouldn't have spared her, she thinks. She had no reason to, just like how Euigeon had no reason to distract Sana for her. She did it because she wanted to, because-

 

Momo fixes her attention on the four dead tributes from today, mentally striking off their names. The tribute rankings a moment later helps with the mental calculation of the number of tributes left - her heart sinks when she sees herself at fifth place. The top three have maintained their positions, with a new girl - Chou Tzuyu - taking the fourth spot.

 

Even worse - Dahyun and Chaeyoung are in the last two spots of the ten tributes remaining. It was expected, seeing that the viewers at home have seen them incapacitated and injured, but it still upsets Momo.

 

(A small part of her wonders - had her act of kindness towards them actually disadvantaged them? Does the Capitol think that they can't take care of themselves? Because that's wrong. Momo _knows_ that they're capable, that they look out for each other well. Whatever they think, it's wrong.)  
  
If anything, it was probably the encounter between her and Mina that forced her ranking so low. The Capitol now knows that she can't fight in close combat, and that she's a bumbling fool, not striking when the time is right. She's an idiot.

 

_Fifth best._

 

-

 

Mina wakes up in the middle of the night with the space beside her cold. Jihyo is tucked into her other side, sound asleep, but that doesn't matter.

 

Where is Jeongyeon?   


-

 

Chaeyoung's pulling up her pants and walking away when the bushes behind her rustle.

 

Her peripheral vision is bad, but she knows as she starts running that that's a knife she sees. The girl who's hunting her is chasing her, and from the way she's breathing, she's determined to have Chaeyoung die by her hand.

 

"Dahyun!" Chaeyoung shrieks, not caring who might hear as she races to the tree where both of them were sleeping. She can see Dahyun's silhouette shake awake as Chaeyoung keeps screaming, not caring about the pain in her shoulder. She crosses over, looking behind her. The girl's only metres from her. "Dahyun! Please! Help me!"

 

For one terrifying moment, she thinks Dahyun's watching but not doing anything, keeping herself out of trouble. It would be too easy for Dahyun to just pretend she's unaware and cut Chaeyoung loose while she can. It would be easy, and it's also the least Dahyun thing _ever_.

 

The girl trips up on a rock that wasn't there the second ago. When she lands, a hole opens up, sending her sprawling a metre into dirt. Chaeyoung's confused - it wasn't slippery when she ran past. It can't be anything natural. Which means...

 

"Doyoung," she whispers reverently, thinking to her mentor. He must be rooted to his screen, frantically calling in sponsors to tilt the odds in her favour.

 

 _I'll do anything I can_.

  
"Dahyun!" She screams again, and Dahyun's hands finally, _finally_ come, hauling her up and to safety.

 

-

 

The first night with the Careers is as intimidating as it gets - Tzuyu sleeps with her axe tucked to her chest, holding it as tight as she can. By the way Sooyeon eyes her, it's not a bad idea.

 

-

 

"I didn't know if you were going to help me back there," Chaeyoung pants, the searing pain in her side doing nothing to detract from the euphoria running through her. She's alive - she's _alive_ , and that's all that matters to her now. Not the fact that Yoo Jeongyeon's knife landed in the space where her head had been if Dahyun hadn't pulled her away not the fact that Chaeyoung almost became a face in the sky, not even the fact that she doesn't think she'll survive tomorrow. "Thanks, dude."

 

Dahyun holds onto the tree trunk with a sort of abandon that Chaeyoung's never seen before, and the look in her eyes in faraway. "I don't think... I don't think I did either."

 

"Oh."

 

Dahyun looks away, "I don't want it to be you and me." There's always been a taboo around killing tributes from your own district - it's just _not done_. Chaeyoung can't remember the last time it happened, but it's an unspoken agreement across Panem that tributes from the same district do not turn on each other. They can ignore each other, they can ally themselves with different people, but under no circumstances should they lay hands on each other.

  
And truth be told -- Chaeyoung doesn't want it to be her and Dahyun either.

 

The look on Dahyun's face is distraught, and Chaeyoung recalls the last time she had to say goodbye. She wasn't awake for it, but Dahyun had recounted it to her, told her how much she had enjoyed Momo's company while it had lasted. Chaeyoung will be the next person to leave Dahyun's side in this unforgiving arena.

 

She curses the arena and the Games now, hating the threat of their impending separation. It's not Dahyun's fault, and she doesn't want the girl to think that it is. She always knew that it would come down to it, that it was just a matter of time before one of them chose to part ways. Because she could never hurt Dahyun, and Dahyun could never hurt her.

 

In another life-- maybe things would have turned out better, Chaeyoung thinks. They'd be free of the Games and its binding curse, and live their lives as they pleased.

  
But it is not this life, and Chaeyoung must accept that.

 

"Okay," Chaeyoung says, forcing a smile, "I know what you mean. I don't blame you."

 

The other girl runs an anguished hand through her hair, "We can go our separate ways tomorrow. Just one more night. Like the old days."

 

Chaeyoung can see a special kind of sadness in Dahyun's eyes.


	6. exodus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was a double update, so read the previous chap if you haven't

 

The air feels different when she wakes up, as if it's buzzing with electricity. Like it _knows_ that something's going to happen today, and that the odds may not exactly be in her favour this time.

 

_You're not skilled. Just lucky._

She certainly doesn't _feel_ lucky. It's an honour to make it to the top ten - or so the Capitol has said. All she feels is an emptiness where her heart has rotted away in, giving way to the darkness that'll occupy her chest for the rest of her life.

 

This is who she is now, and who she'll remain, regardless of her face. Yoo Jeongyeon, who tried to hunt down an injured tribute in the dead of the night, playing by the dirtiest rules possible.

  
No time to hate yourself, she tells herself. You can do that when you get out.

 

Ten tributes left.

 

-

 

Dahyun is gone when Chaeyoung wakes up.

 

There isn't any evidence that she'd ever been there, only an empty space someone could mistake for being meaningless, and it rips a chunk out of Chaeyoung's soul. Without Dahyun, who is she, anyway?   
  
Chaeyoung silently wishes Dahyun good luck, wherever she is, before she descends the tree shakily, slipping more times than she'd like to count.

 

-

 

"We don't _need_ her," Sooyeon hisses, shoving Nayeon's shoulder to create some distance between them. The two District One tributes are locked in an intense stare-down, and have been for the past five minutes, ever since Sooyeon said something that Nayeon took badly. They're both touchy, which isn't a good combination for getting long.

 

Nayeon rolls her eyes, which seems to aggravate Sooyeon even more. "Why'd you even let her in? I had her, I should've killed her when I had the chance," Sooyeon growls.

 

"No," Nayeon says quietly, knowing. "She'll lead us to her district partner. She's been looking for her, that's what I got out of her, and if we wait for long enough, her partner's going to be led straight into our trap."  
  
"How about you think about your _own_ district partner first, Nayeon?"

 

"What do you need?" Nayeon snaps, "Me to coddle you? We're fine on our own, and I intend to keep it that way."

 

Sooyeon looks as if she might snap for a long few seconds, teeth gnashing and her entire body shivering uncontrollably. The veins in her forehead and neck pulse, and Nayeon takes a dignified step back, watching anger run its course through Sooyeon's body. It passes as quickly as it came - Sooyeon's face returns to its original colour, though she's still glaring hatefully at Nayeon.

 

"Fine. But when the time comes, I want to be the one who kills her."

 

-

 

They're running low on food and supplies, and so the only thing they can do is make their way back to the Cornucopia - Jihyo takes one look at the bushes around them and declares that all of them are bearers of poisonous fruit. She gets tired nods in exchange.

 

Even Jeongyeon is less chirpy today - she's caked in dirt like Mina is from sleeping on the floor, but her eyes have lost the shine from yesterday. She drags her feet behind her, and Jihyo has to gently remind her to make less noise as they trek in the vague direction of where they remember the Cornucopia being. (Apparently, Mina's pretty good with directions, which should work to their advantage.)

 

On edge from the moodiness of her allies, Jihyo tries making small talk on the way, but it's deflected, and she gives up eventually, choosing to just keep walking.

 

The silence is deafening.

 

-

 

"Just kill me."

 

Momo stares, wide-eyed as Dahyun steps dangerously close to her. The girl looks like she hasn't slept in days, and her eyes are red with exhaustion and what Momo suspects is tears.

 

The second time they meet in the arena turns out to be this - under much less imminently threatening circumstances, but infinitely more dangerous. Maybe it's the subtle sway in Dahyun's body, the way she shifts her weight from foot to foot and hip to hip like she can't handle her own body. Or maybe it's the defeated light in her eyes.

 

Either way, it's scaring Momo - it's nothing like the grimly determined girl from two days ago who'd wished Momo good luck.

 

"Hey, did you hear me?" Dahyun laughs. "I told you to kill me. It's over for me at this point, so you might as well just do it and push yourself up a few ranks. Maybe the Careers won't come after you if you do, yeah?" She lifts her head, baring her neck. "C'mon, Momo. I want you to do it."

 

Momo shakes her head. "Dahyun, you're not in the right state. Let's walk a little, you'll feel better after-"  
  
"No, I won't," Dahyun throws her head back further and laughs, chest wheezing, "I've become a monster."

 

She looks as if she might say more, but falls silent, eyes rooted to Momo's scythe.

 

"You know what? If you won't, then I'll do it myself."

 

Momo rips the knife away from Dahyun's hands just as Dahyun makes the first incision down her arm, already deep and drawing copious amounts of blood. It goes blade-first, and Momo hisses as the knife cuts into the fleshy parts of her fingertips. Blood drips onto the ground, but Momo's just relieved that it isn't Dahyun's.

 

She kicks it away, watches the weapon spin away uselessly. Dahyun just watches it fly, seemingly resigned and disappointed. "I won't let you hurt yourself."

 

_I can't._

 

"Why?" Dahyun croaks, tears springing to her eyes. "Why do you keep saving me? What did I ever do wrong?"

 

-

 

Tzuyu adjusts well to life in the Career pack - well, as well as she can with Sooyeon glaring daggers at her (and her being afraid to be alone with Sooyeon) and Sana and Nayeon effectively sexiling her half the time they're together. The most of what she's gathered about adapting to their way of life is keeping quiet and accepting her death as calmly as she can, and enjoying the temporary protection they offer.

 

She's been pushed to guard duty again, rocking back and forth idly to keep herself awake as Sana and Nayeon busy themselves behind another tree.

 

There are hushed giggles from Sana and no sound from Nayeon, and Tzuyu absently wishes that they would be a little quieter - this may be the most exciting time of their lives, but Tzuyu would prefer not having to live out her last days listening to two maniacs go at it like rabbits. It spoils her appetite.

  
Sooyeon is equally as unhinged as them - she paces around their campsite like a woman on a mission, constantly on the lookout for anyone who's unlucky enough to stumble upon them.

 

Her knife's constantly at the ready, her arm prepared to swing. Now that there's only ten tributes left, she's gotten even jumpier, and Tzuyu startles her at least three times by moving too suddenly.

 

"That's it," Sooyeon declares, when Nayeon and Sana return from their private time behind the trees. Sana has her shirt on backward. "I've had enough of this. Let's move."   
  
"Again?" Sana whines, "We just got here."   
  
"She's right," Nayeon agrees, stroking Sana's hair gently. Sana melts under the touch, nuzzling into it, and Sooyeon pretends not to see.

 

Tzuyu's grown to notice the tender way Nayeon looks at Sana, as if she's the only thing in her murderous universe that matters. It'd be cute, if it wasn't for the fact that she reminds herself a dozen times an hour that these girls are crazy.

 

"The Gamemakers will flush us out if there are no deaths today," Sooyeon argues, "We ought to keep moving."

  
"I agree," Tzuyu blurts out, if only to escape guard duty. Sooyeon raises an eyebrow, but otherwise looks pleased at Tzuyu's affirmation.

 

Nayeon exhales, visibly annoyed. "Fine. Where to?"

 

"Where else?" Sooyeon smirks, rubbing her knife against her leg. "The Cornucopia."

 

-

 

They reach the Cornucopia before the sun sets, and Jihyo has never seen Mina this happy. For one, the girl's actually moving in a slow jog - which is a huge upgrade from the shuffling that both she and Jeongyeon have kept up the whole day, and her face lights up when she sees the remnants of what the Careers left behind.   
  
There are still bloodstains on the ground from the bloodbath which haven't been cleaned up, but Jihyo doesn't let them hamper her good mood. What matters is the food, and the good company.

 

They sit around the mouth of the Cornucopia, eating from the sack of apples Mina had found. Jihyo feels her energy levels shoot up, and is thankful for Mina suggesting that they come here. She doesn't know how Mina knew that the Careers wouldn't be here, but she doesn't care.

 

"Is that someone?" Mina squints. Jeongyeon starts, grabbing her knife. "No, wait. I think they're harmless. I'll go and check."

  
The sun is in their faces, so Jihyo has to squint her eyes hard to see Mina make her way to the short girl who's entered the Cornucopia area. Jeongyeon is still on high alert, gripping the hilt of her knife till her knuckles turn white.

 

Mina eventually wanders back, now tailed by a small girl who's adorably short. Jihyo thinks she might be from District Three or Five - she's seen her around, that's for sure. Kim Dahyun? Is that her name? No, she doesn't look like her, she must be her partner. What's her name, again?

 

"Son Chaeyoung," the girl smiles, holding her hands up in a gesture of peace.

 

Then her eyes land on Jeongyeon, and her jaw falls open.

 

Jeongyeon comes to the same realization, scooting back and backpedaling hard. Her knife is raised, pointed straight at Chaeyoung, and Chaeyoung's eyes narrow.

 

"Is this what I think it is?" Chaeyoung whispers. "A trap?"

 

"What's happening?" Mina says, giving Jeongyeon a look. Jeongyeon's turned white, and she seems wholly incapable of executing the trap that Chaeyoung's accusing her of orchestrating right now. If she had dog ears, they'd be flat against their head.

 

"She tried to kill me," Chaeyoung says flatly. "Last night."

 

"I- I didn't-"

 

"You did! I _know_ it was you, because I saw you."

 

"Jeong-" Mina says, but Jeongyeon's eyes are frantic now, as she tries to save whatever dignity she has left.

 

"I didn't mean-"

 

"You didn't mean to kill me?"

 

Jeongyeon screams, and rushes straight at Chaeyoung. She would connect, and her knife would sink into Chaeyoung in a moment of vulnerable madness, if not for the fact that Jihyo steps in between them. It might as well be the biggest mistake of her life, because instead of Jeongyeon killing Chaeyoung, her knife sinks into Jihyo's chest. Specifically - the left side of her chest, neatly where Jihyo imagines where her heart must be.

 

Jihyo goes down like this, with Jeongyeon's knife sticking out of her chest and blood spurting out of her mouth.

 

"No," Jeongyeon gasps, falling to her knees in front of Jihyo. She rips the knife out of Jihyo's chest, but it's too late - if anything, it exacerbates the situation, and blood pumps out of Jihyo at double the rate.

_Oh, how the tables turn,_ is all Jihyo can think before she closes her eyes.

 

-

 

Nayeon and Sana seem determined to keep stopping for makeout breaks (as Sana had termed them), so Tzuyu follows behind Sooyeon to the Cornucopia, her feet heavy. The heat of the afternoon sun is horrendous, and Tzuyu wonders how bad the sunburn from an artificial sun can get. Maybe she can work up a healthy tan, if she lay outside for a while. Maybe the Gamemakers would allow that luxury.

  
"Jesus," Sooyeon mutters, emerging from the Cornucopia. "Looks like someone got to her before--" She shakes her head, walking out and sitting on the grass.

 

Tzuyu raises an eyebrow, going into where Sooyeon had just come out from.

  
Inside is the closest thing to a hell she'll ever see.

 

-

 

Tzuyu feels like she's going to throw up.

 

"Unnie," she sobs. "Unnie, who did this-- who did this to you?"

 

Jihyo smiles back up at her, blood still leaking out from the corners of her mouth. Her chest is still warm, so whoever did this to her must've just fled the scene-

 

Jung Sooyeon.

 

"Tzuyu..."

 

She understands. There isn't enough time. There never will be enough time for Tzuyu to tell Jihyo how scared she was without her, or how she didn't mean to wander away, or how she's so, so strong and how Tzuyu is so sorry for everything. For not comforting her when she killed that District Seven boy because it was for Tzuyu's safety but Tzuyu was too caught up with herself to care-

 

"I love you," Tzuyu groans, because it's the only way she can express herself right now, fingers digging into Jihyo's face in a way that probably hurts. She can't find herself to care right now, not when Jihyo, the bravest person she's _ever_ known is stiffening in her arms, her skin turning a shade of grey Tzuyu's only ever read about in books.

 

Nothing could hurt her as much as this. Her voice sounds faraway as she repeats her words, "I love you. I love you." She says it like it'll bring Jihyo back to life, like it's a prayer that'll raise her from the dead.

 

Jihyo eyes flutter open, and through the half-lidded eyes and the blood smeared around her neck and face, Tzuyu seems some semblance of consciousness, the last bit of life Jihyo has in her. Anything else that requires more energy is dead and gone.

 

"No," Jihyo murmurs, impossibly soft, "You don't."

 

And then Jihyo exhales, a sad smile on her face.

 

Tzuyu is at a loss for words, her heart pounding in her ears, a heady rush that implores her to stand up, _stand up, stand_ up. The blood on her hands is sticky and glitters intoxicatingly, and Tzuyu knows what she must do now.   
  
There's no explaining the animal instincts rising in her chest now, tightening it and forcing her features into a dark snarl.

 

All she knows is that she'll go to the ends of the Earth to kill whoever did this to Jihyo.

 

Jung Sooyeon.

 

-

 

"You," Tzuyu growls, stalking up behind Sooyeon.

 

Her arm is wrapped around Sooyeon's neck before the cocky Career can react, the crook of her elbow pressing into Sooyeon's neck and making her choke. Tzuyu wants to rip her head off her shoulders, stab her until she can't feel pain anymore. She deserves this, and so much more for killing Jihyo.

 

"You _knew_ ," Tzuyu hisses, tears gathering in her eyes as Sooyeon fumbles in her grip, growing limp. "You killed her to hurt me."

 

"Maybe... Maybe I did," Sooyeon laughs, and then she's wrestling back against Tzuyu's grasp, a low groan punched out of Tzuyu as she lets go of Sooyeon.

 

Sooyeon looks positively murderous - as if she's been thinking of doing this since the first time they met, when she was holding a knife to Tzuyu's throat and backing her up against a tree. She would've died if Nayeon hadn't told her to stop, Tzuyu thinks, and smiles ruefully. Who would've known that she'd have Nayeon to thank?

  
"It's kill or be killed," Sooyeon shrugs, knife sliding out of her sleeve, coming to slash across Tzuyu's cheek tantalizingly. Tzuyu gasps at the stinging sensation, the cold prodding as Sooyeon starts pressing deeper, shocked at how she had the upper hand only seconds before, how fast Sooyeon managed to overturn it. She should've known that it would've come down to this - Sooyeon's been wanting to lay her hands on her for the longest amount of time.   
  
In the end, Sooyeon's a slave to her animal instincts, just like the rest of them are.

 

Tzuyu closes her eyes and makes her peace as Sooyeon slashes hard.

 

-

 

If Jihyo were here, Jeongyeon guesses that she would say something like _Guys, relax!_ or be looking out for the next danger to protect all of them from.

 

But how can she do that now, when it's her who's the most dangerous here?

 

Chaeyoung's stopped glaring at her hatefully, but Jeongyeon can feel the animosity radiating off her. She doesn't apologize - can't. There's nothing in her that can find the words to apologize for what she did to Chaeyoung.

 

Nothing.

 

-

 

Nayeon's trying very, very hard to control her temper. The soothing circles that Sana's rubbing on her back aren't working, which speaks volumes about how angry she is with Sooyeon.

 

"You did _what_ to Tzuyu?"   
  
"I killed her."

 

"Why?"

 

"Her district partner was dead," Sooyeon spits back. "You said that it was fine once she was, that I could take her down and it'd be fine. We got her to join us because of her district partner, yeah?"

 

Nayeon's rage seems to bubble over, because her shoulders collapse, and she shoves past Sana, out of the Cornucopia. Maybe she just can't stand the fact that Nayeon's right.

-

 

Sooyeon sniffs, watching Sana sulk in the corner after Nayeon leaves. "Nayeon doesn't deserve her first-place score. Never did, anyway. She's a swine-faced bitch."

 

Sana looks up, tilting her head, face devoid of any telling expression. For some reason, Sooyeon takes this as invitation to keep talking. "You know what we should do?"

 

"Hm?"

 

"We should get rid of her. Ambush her when she comes back. That'll knock us up one place each, increase our odds of winning."

 

"Really, now."

 

"Yep," Sooyeon smirks cruelly, as if she isn't talking about committing the ultimate taboo of killing her district partner. It's just something that isn't done, and even Sana abides by this, which speaks volumes. "What's she going to do with the prize money if she wins anyway? She's already loaded. She doesn't need another ego boost."   
  
She's running her mouth now, saying everything she hadn't said before to Nayeon's face. She must be high from the thrill of the kill - she hadn't told Sana anything about what she'd done to the District Ten girls, but Sana's willing to wager something gruesome and right up Sooyeon's alley.

 

"It's not like she cares about us, anyway. It's us or her."

 

"Sana?"

 

Sana shakes her head, laughing. "You're right, Sooyeon! It's either us or her."

 

"Us or her," Sooyeon says seriously, grinning as Sana retrieves her knives.

  
"One thing, though."

 

Sooyeon raises her eyebrows, eyeing Sana as the District Two tribute scratches her head in a greatly exaggerated pantomime of confusion. She must think Sana's an empty-headed bimbo, just like everyone does. "What?"

 

"The thing is that... it's not us or her," Sana sighs. "It's _you_ or her."   
  
A knife buries itself into Sooyeon's stomach and twists.

  
"And I don't know about you, but I'd prefer her."

 

-

 

Nayeon hears screams coming from the Cornucopia, and knows instantly what's going on. She doesn't interfere, lets Sana fights this battle for her. She deserves it anyway, she's been so good.   


(Definitely not because she, too, is afraid of being in Sana's way.)

 

-

 

"No!" Sooyeon sobs, blood dripping from her mouth and making her look ghastly. She's choking through it, gurgling her words to an unimpressed Sana, gripping the hilt of the knife buried in her stomach. "Sana... please..."

 

"You're so stupid," Sana chastises, sticking out a thumb to clean the tears that are dripping from Sooyeon's eyes. "Did you really think you'd get away with that? How cheap do you think I am?" Her words are cold, and Sooyeon feels every stab of them, shuddering from the weight of the blade in her stomach.

  
Sana sighs, wiping her hands on her pants. "Sorry it had to end this way, Sooyeon," and then she pushes the blade all the way through.


	7. el dorado

 

Dahyun doesn't say anything when Momo tells her she won't leave her this time. She might not care.

  
Truthfully, her legs ache, and Momo wants nothing more than to go on a walk to clear the pain in them. But she knows she can't leave Dahyun alone - not after what she attempted. The gash down her arm has healed up - it's not a deep wound, which Momo is thankful for - leaving a long red scar that's more visually shocking than physically painful, but Dahyun appears nonplussed.

 

So Momo sits by Dahyun, watching the deaths of the day play out in the sky. The Career from One, and the two girls from Ten. Seven tributes are left to make it to the fourth day, and by the end of tomorrow, there will be even fewer. Perhaps it'll all be over tomorrow, perhaps everyone will clash in a bloody battle to the death early tomorrow morning and the victor will be crowned.

 

The tribute rankings remain relatively untouched - with only seven places left to vie for, Momo's relieved to see that she's fourth. It shouldn't mean much, but the fact that something she did restored her Capitol backers' trust in her should mean something.

 

Dahyun groans quietly as Momo adjusts her weight - the girl's knocked out against the tree they're resting against (she'd told Momo flatly that she'd throw herself off if Momo insisted on sleeping in the trees). Momo sighs, running a hand over Dahyun's hair. The touch is tender and gentle, more so than Momo's been in a while.

 

_It'll be over soon._

-

 

Jeongyeon doesn't sleep the whole night, and neither does Chaeyoung, even though they're on opposite sides of Mina and wouldn't be able to move with the force needed to kill each other without waking Mina up.  
  
It's not guilt, Jeongyeon reminds herself. It's just awkward.

 

Chaeyoung is much less poetic, staring into the night sky and wishing that she had Dahyun with her.

 

-

 

Nayeon awakes with Sana draped over her, legs thrown possessively over her hip. Sana's snoring quietly into the crook of her neck, and Nayeon can't bear to move, so she watches the sun rise with Sana breathing in and out, heart beating softly against her.

 

It's somewhere between seeing sunlight peeking through the leaves and Sana sneezing herself awake that she knows - she can't do it.

 

She won't go home without Sana. How could she, when Sana has her heart and so much more? Nayeon knows that she'll hate herself for the rest of her life if she wins and goes home, that she'll go to bed every night thinking of Sana kissing down her neck. Maybe she'll hate herself even more than her family must already hate her for engaging in a relationship with another girl in front of the whole nation.

 

She used to be sure that she'd be fine with leaving Sana when the time came, when it would be down to the two of them. She'd carefully aim a knife into the middle of Sana's head, and then the hovercraft would come and pick her up. She'd go home, slightly shaken by the sights of arena but otherwise delighted to be the victor of the 80th Hunger Games. Perhaps she'd even become a celebrity victor, given her looks and her charismatic persona.  
  
These plans come to a sudden stop when she realizes that every fibre in her body is screaming for her not to let Sana go. The giggly, crazy District Two girl who killed her entire family as practice for the Games - who would've known?

 

But she cannot bend the rules of the Capitol, and that may just mean that she doesn't go home at all.

 

-

 

A feast.

 

That's what it is. Claudius Templesmith's voice eagerly explains the terms of the feast, calling for the tributes to attend, because (as he says it) they've prepared backpacks with things they require. It's an irresistible offer, but they all know the dangers associated with it. It's a gimmick, meant to bring the tributes together and have them fight. After all, with only seven tributes left, the chance of a coincidental meeting is astronomically small.

 

"What the hell," Jeongyeon decides. "I say we go. This is the tamest of their tricks."

 

"It'll be dangerous," Mina notes, looking troubled. Chaeyoung's noticed that Mina seems to never stop thinking, calculating how much danger they might be in. She's quiet, but observant. Chaeyoung can appreciate that, no matter how close Mina is to Jeongyeon.

 

Jeongyeon shrugs, gathering her things and packing them up.

 

"I've nothing left to lose, anyway."

 

-

 

Chaeyoung wonders what she might need that the Capitol can give her. The biggest problem she has right now is Jeongyeon - and would they? Would they provide her with a weapon high-powered enough to kill Jeongyeon on the spot?  
  
Hell, she's not even sure if she wants to kill Jeongyeon. Hatred flares in her stomach when she looks in Jeongyeon's direction, but it's nothing close to the sort of anger that she could use to kill someone. It's ridiculous, really.

 

When it comes down to it, she'll have to, if she wants to get out of here. If she wants to win this for Dahyun.

 

She sighs - when did Dahyun come into this?

 

-

 

The table rises out of the ground half an hour after the announcement is made - Sana makes an excited sound, going to peer at the backpacks. There are seven of them, transparent backpacks marked with their district numbers. One 1, one 2, two 3s, one 5, one 8 and one 12. The two backpacks with number 3s are marked individually with the tributes' initials.

 

"Both the Three tributes are still alive," Sana says, snatching her backpack as Nayeon takes her own. She must be thinking of the fallen members of their Career pack, like Sojung and Eunbi, who'd fallen in one fell sweep to the jaws of the mutts. "Who would've thought?"

 

Nayeon shrugs, laughing when Sana fumbles with her backpack and drops it clumsily. In Nayeon's backpack is a fresh roll of twelve throwing knives and a pair of gloves. She sniffs at the gloves, calling them tacky - fingerless gloves? Really, is that what's in fashion right now? Tacky, at best.

  
Sana's backpack is equally unimpressive, but still useful. She's given a pair of daggers - really, they're more of shortswords than daggers with how long they are. Sana squeals throughout, unzipping her backpack with a fervour paralleled only by her face when she's slitting someone's throat. They cast a critical eye over the other backpacks, tempted to take them just for the fun of it, but Nayeon grows uninterested when she doesn't see anything she wants or anything she can use.

 

"Nayeonnie," Sana murmurs as they return to their spot at the mouth of the Cornucopia, watching out for the other tributes. Her hand slips under Nayeon's shirt, brushing at the skin of her waist.

Nayeon suddenly feels a lot less invested in standing guard.

 

-

 

"Oh," Chaeyoung says, wrinkling her nose, "One and Two sound like they're, um, having sex." She clicks the device off, "At least they're busy, we can drop in and get our packs while they're still going at it."  
  
"You sure they're at the Cornucopia?"

 

"Positive," Chaeyoung says, affixing Jeongyeon with a proud look. "From what Nayeon said on her feed, she and Sana have collected their backpacks, and they're just sitting at the Cornucopia now doing... you know."

 

Jeongyeon's expression is unreadable, but Mina sees hatred burn across her face. The awkwardness between Chaeyoung and Jeongyeon has dissipated, and Mina's just glad that she won't have to suffer through it anymore. Replacing it is a sort of camaraderie between the two girls that's damn-near admirable.

 

"Alright then," Jeongyeon says darkly, "Let's feast."

 

-

 

Dahyun nearly faints when she sees the second 3 backpack. It's a confirmation of her innermost fears and hopes at the same time.

 

Chaeyoung is alive. She's been able to keep herself alive, and she's doing well without Dahyun. That is her greatest hope, and it has been fulfilled, but-

 

Do they stand on opposite sides now? Will they die by each others' hands? Dahyun wonders if it will be instinctive for Chaeyoung to lash out and hurt Dahyun - after all, it'd been Dahyun who'd initiated the separation in the first place, after the admission that she didn't know if she wanted to let Chaeyoung live or not. Chaeyoung has every right to hate her.

 

Though through it all - something tells her that Chaeyoung doesn't hate her.

  
"Hurry," Momo urges, and Dahyun takes the backpack marked with her name. She isn't looking at her own, though. There's something in Chaeyoung's backpack that looks familiar - it's a mess of wires and shells, undeniably something from home. If she thinks hard enough, she can place it - she's seen Chaeyoung tinkering with something like this before, but can't remember when. It's a weapon, is all she knows.

 

She wonders if she could take Chaeyoung's backpack for herself. Plenty of tributes in the past have done that, stolen other backpacks for themselves, but this is different. It's not like Dahyun would know what to do with this. And more importantly, it'd deprive Chaeyoung of a chance to live. It'd be needlessly cruel.

 

Dahyun's been given a crescent sword. The handle extends when Dahyun touches it, the blade curving nicely.

 

She doesn't have time to think about using it, though, because a knife whistles through the air, and Dahyun chokes out a gasp as it embeds itself in the backpack marked 8, right in the middle. She doesn't mistake the warning shot for bad aim - this is their cue to leave. The Careers must be feeling merciful today.  
  
"Crap," Momo swears, "Let's go."

 

A second knife comes, and Dahyun raises her backpack to deflect it. It sinks into the plastic, and Dahyun doesn't take her chances - she runs, Momo following closely behind hastily.

  
They don't get far - there's a bang, and then Dahyun's bowled over into Momo, the two of them rolling and hitting the ground _hard_. Dahyun's head aches, as if she's just collided into a brick wall and bounced off.

  
"What?" Momo pants, helping Dahyun get up. She's trembling ever so slightly. "What-"

 

"It's a force field," says a voice from behind them. "Looks like you'll have to face us now."

 

-

 

Momo reacts well, kicking Nayeon's feet out from under her as she tears open her backpack to retrieve the weapon she was given - it's dissimilar from the scythe that she's been using for the entirety of the Games. Instead, it's a short straight-edged sword, easy to maneuvre in close quarters.  
  
This was a trap all along.

  
Sana grabs Dahyun, and the two of them roll away, Sana trying to stab Dahyun without much success. Dahyun proves to be a slippery target, squirming out from underneath Sana as she tries to pin her down. (Momo recalls how Sana had almost succeeded in pinning her down during the bloodbath, and marvels at Dahyun's sheer skill.)  
  
Then she's forced to focus on her own fight - Nayeon clambers back up, avoiding the quick stab Momo offers in her direction. She slides a flat-bladed knife out of her belt, wielding it skilfully and stepping away from Momo. She spins it in her hand, and Momo doesn't miss the glint in her eye. She's determined to win.

 

But what she doesn't know is that so is Momo.

 

They circle each other as Sana and Dahyun continue fighting - Momo watches it from the corner of her eye, just to make sure that Dahyun's holding up. They're nicking each other before drawing back - Sana slices the tip of Dahyun's ear off, and in turn, Dahyun slices into her upper arm. Dahyun's knife cuts into Sana's sleeve, and Sana delivers a shallow gash to Dahyun's stomach. Give-and-take, cat-and-mouse. It's almost theatrical.

 

Sana must be tired, because she isn't fighting with nearly as much gusto as she was at the beginning of the Games. Or maybe she's just stringing it out, letting Dahyun think that she has a chance before she goes in for the kill. She looks like she'd have fun doing that.

 

Nayeon, meanwhile, doesn't take her attention off Momo, watching her every move as they orbit each other. Her gaze is intense, making feel Momo feel dissected, like she's spread out on an operating table for Nayeon to scrutinize her and see where it'll hurt the most.  
  
_Why do you keep saving me?_

Everything Momo's done in these Games have been to pay back a debt. Saving Chaeyoung and Dahyun to balance out what Euigeon did for her, to sparing Dahyun's life because Mina spared hers -- she's alive now only because of those people, and others are only alive because of her. That makes her fundamentally flawed - the only reason she's done _anything_ admirable is because she's tried to pay back the debts she's owed. And God, does she owe many.

 

 _What did I ever do wrong_?

 

Nayeon rushes forward, going for Momo's throat, and her eyes clear.

 

-

 

"We have company," Jeongyeon murmurs. They're on the outskirts of the Cornucopia, and by the looks of it, they're late. Four tributes are brawling in the middle of the Cornucopia, Sana, Nayeon, Momo and Dahyun, each locked in one-on-one battles that look like they're about to turn ugly.

 

"We should leave," Mina says, hand on her knife. "We're only putting ourselves in trouble if we go in."  
  
Jeongyeon, stubborn as ever, shakes her head. "You can leave if you want, but I'm going in." She gives Chaeyoung a look that almost dares Chaeyoung to stop her, but the younger girl has nothing to say. She only steps aside to let Jeongyeon pass into the Cornucopia and claim her backpack.

 

(What is she doing, standing here and watching Sana try to kill her best friend?)

 

Chaeyoung watches as Mina grabs Jeongyeon's arm, "What do you want to prove, Jeong?"

 

"What, Mina?" Jeongyeon hisses, "This isn't a matter of proving things. I want to win, goddamnit-"

 

"This isn't how you win," insists Mina.  
  
"I have-"  
  
Mina interrupts her again, "Do you remember what you told me? On the rooftop?"

 

Jeongyeon's brows furrow, "Why are you asking me that?"

 

"Just try and remember."

  
(She can't just watch.)

 

"I told you that one of us would get out alive."

  
Mina nods, gesturing into the arena. "Does that look like an ideal setup to get us out alive?"

 

"What's your point?"

 

"I can't see you die," Mina growls, grabbing Jeongyeon and pulling her away. " _That's_ my point."

 

The electricity between them is intensifying, and Chaeyoung steps away, her heart pounding. She can see her backpack from here and its contents - Claudius was right. It _is_ something she needs.  
  
She takes off, hearing (and consequently ignoring) Mina's horrified shout of _Chaeyoung, no!_

 

_-_

Within the Cornucopia, the fight rages. Momo stands, spitting out blood from her mouth and glaring hatefully at Nayeon. She's shaky, and her eyes aren't quite focused, but Nayeon's thankful for that - this is the most evenly matched fight she's had in the Games. It's giving her an opportunity to show off for the camera, try to rake in any sponsors she can while she's on screen.

 

The only downside to this is that Momo is strong, and thus, the beginnings of a threat. For all of Sana's gushing and enthusiastic fangirling, Momo is strong, and a formidable opponent. Her muscles flex under her shirt as she pants, hands on her knees, giving Nayeon a break from the continuous dodging and feinting. Attractive, too. Nayeon would have liked her in another universe.

 

"Had enough?" She goads, tossing her hair, but Momo doesn't fall for it. Perhaps she's simply too tired to. They're both losing stamina, and fast - Nayeon can feel the energy draining from her. She hasn't been this stretched in a long time.

  
Sana and Dahyun, amazingly, have not reached a verdict on who's winning, mostly because Dahyun is fighting back with all that she's got. Nayeon can barely track her movements. She looks like a windmill, a flurry of arms and screams as she tries her best to overwhelm Sana, whose smooth movements are still a wonder to Nayeon.

 

Momo laughs bitterly, shaking her head. Sweat drips into her eyes, and she blinks hard to clear them. "Never."

 

-

 

Chaeyoung's aware that four pairs of eyes are on her the moment she breaks into the Cornucopia, gunning straight for the bag marked 3. She can see the wires, red, blue, yellow crisscrossing each other, and a set of pliers.

 

The tributes, who've broken apart to stare at her, should scare her, but they don't, not when she's in her element. In this moment, Chaeyoung knows exactly what to do, where to tease and where to touch as she pulls the device out of her backpack. How could she ever be afraid?

 

Dahyun pounces on Sana, a whirlwind of punches and stabs, and the battle resumes.

 

Jeongyeon and Mina run in after her just as Chaeyoung's done with the bomb, slotting the final wires into place and wiring it properly. A timer flicks to life on the screen, and Chaeyoung exhales hard, tweaking it so that it reads 00:00:10.

 

-

 

Dahyun wants to weep with relief. Her muscles burn with exhaustion and exertion as she tries her damndest to get Sana out of the Games, and away from everyone else, but Chaeyoung's appearance sends a relief through her that fuels her every moment.

 

At this point, both she and Sana are running on adrenaline. The edges of Dahyun's vision are darkening, and she feels uncoordinated, the various injuries that Sana's managed to inflict on her seeping her energy even faster. Sana is panting wildly, her hands so slippery she almost lets go of her knife.  
  
"Dahyun!"

 

She risks a look over her shoulder, knowing that if Sana chooses to take her down now, she won't be able to defend herself in time. Chaeyoung is holding up the device from her bag, waving it in the air.

  
Now, fitted in Chaeyoung's hand, Dahyun understands instantly what it is. It's a sticky bomb, the same type that they used to make from scratch in her shed behind her home, and the same type that they got into trouble for using. (Dahyun once threw one of these contraptions into the lobby of the Justice Building, and was whipped in public for the act. Chaeyoung cried the whole time.)

 

And so this - it is rebellion.

 

She ducks as Chaeyoung hurls the bomb into the Cornucopia. There are red numbers ticking down on the surface, and Dahyun sighs happily at how close it is to the models in Chaeyoung's shed. It's almost like being home, she thinks, as the bomb flies through the hair and gets stuck at the entrance of the door.

  
Dahyun starts running, taking advantage of the confusion - she knows what it is, and makes good use of that knowledge. The rest will have to fend for themselves. It really adds an extra element of 'home' to it.

 

Except that _home_ doesn't include Nayeon darting forward to pick up the bomb and hurling it at the force field, the bomb going off a moment later and sending all of them sprawling.

 

-

 

Sana's ears are ringing. Her knife lays a metre or so away from her, and she would make a move for it, she really would -- but she can't _hear_ anything. White noise rocks through her ears, throwing her off balance. She presses herself to the ground and closes her eyes.

 

No! This isn't supposed to be happening, not to her! She's spent the whole Games strong and now they take it away from her?  
  
There's a visible hole in the force field, and the rest of the forcefield is disintegrating, the atmosphere of the insied conflating with the reality outside, flickering. Shards of the bomb have flown a few metres, and one of them has flown far enough to clock the girl - Chaeyoung, is that her name? - in the head.  
  
Sana's ears are ringing. She shakes her head hard, gasping at the pain that shoots up her spine and flushes into her brain. She has to try to get up, at least before Dahyun can. This isn't her time, not anywhere near it, never.

 

Momo shoots past her, running through the hole in the force field and calling out for Dahyun to join her.

 

Sana's eyes roll back in her head.

 

-

 

Mina and Jeongyeon remain unscathed from the bomb, and choose to grab their backpacks instead, with the exception of Mina looking slightly shaken. (The knife sticking out of Mina's backpack doesn't help quell her anxiety.)

 

"She-- the force field--"

 

"I know," Chaeyoung mutters, feeling as shell-shocked as Mina and Jeongyeon look. She hadn't expected her own weapon to be used against her like that, nor did she expect Nayeon to know what it was and blow up the force field - she wasn't even aware there was a forcefield.

  
This feels like the beginning of the end, the sign that doomsday is coming.This is the end.

 

-

 

Nayeon's hands are still shaking when she pushes herself up off the floor. It's the same time as when Dahyun does the same, and rolls onto Sana, ready to kill her.

 

Blood is flowing freely from Sana's ears, and Nayeon's heartrate quickens at the sight. The girl's eyes have fluttered shut, but she's still breathing, chest rising and falling at an irregular rate as Dahyun fumbles for her knife, movements unsteady but sure.

Momo is gone.

 

Nayeon staggers towards the two of them, aiming carefully.

 

-

 

Sana fades back into consciousness when Dahyun screams. It's flecked with blood and spit, and Sana throws Dahyun off of her, the girl rolling away uselessly, weakened considerably.

  
She can hear - Dahyun's screams are ear-piercing, but that means that she can hear. Sana cries out in relief, feeling pathetic and weak. The gash near her lip opens up again.

 

Nayeon's knife is rooted in the back of Dahyun's neck, blood trickling out from the wound as Dahyun curls up on the ground, whimpering quietly, beginning to cry from the pain and the realization that she's going to die. Nayeon gives her a dismissive look, offering a hand to help Sana up. Sana smiles up at her.

 

The shock from the bomb has worn off, and the other three in the Cornucopia seem to be realizing it, because they're making a mad dash towards the hole in the force field.

 

Well, all three, save for one.

 

Son Chaeyoung runs forward and impales herself on Nayeon's knife. She doesn't stop moving them, gasping and punching Nayeon hard in the face, Nayeon thinks she hears a tooth break from her gums when Chaeyoung connects with her face. Blood seeps between them, and Nayeon uses the last of her remaining strength to twist the blade in Chaeyoung's stomach. Chaeyoung chokes, nails digging into Nayeon and dragging her down.

 

"How... how could you?" Chaeyoung moans, and Nayeon shakes her head, pulling out the knife.

 

-

 

Jeongyeon stops dead in her tracks, taking in a deep breath. Mina's tugging on her sleeve urgently, whispering that they have to leave, but even her words carry an air of finality.

 

This is the end for them - this is how they'll have to face off now, and they don't have a say in it.

  
And who knows, they just might win.

 

Nayeon stands from her position on the ground. Both she and Sana have been roughed up, Sana bleeding from small gashes and wounds on her face and body - she doesn't even look like she can hold herself up properly. Nayeon's mouth is bleeding, and she's tired.

 

"Mina?" Jeongyeon murmurs.

 

"Hm?"

 

"I'm sorry," and then she charges.

 

-

 

The arrogant look on the District Twelve tribute's face angers her, and Sana thinks she feels energy rush back into her. She's down to her last reserve of energy, but what's important is that she's still on her feet.

  
She didn't get all the way here, do everything that she did, for _nothing_. Nayeon may be tired, but she isn't. She never was.

 

-

 

Sana moves faster than Mina or Nayeon can, pouncing on Jeongyeon with the enthusiasm of a tiger going in for the kill, or with as much enthusiasm as her tired state allows for.

 

Jeongyeon's eyes widen frantically, and she stops in place, letting herself be thrown to the ground when Sana lands on her, as if she can't believe that Sana still has the energy to come straight for her. She looks straight out of a nightmare, dashing towards Jeongyeon with blood seeping from the dozens of wounds Dahyun had managed to inflict.

 

Her knife shimmers in the air, reflecting the light of the blazing afternoon sun, and Mina throws herself forwards without a second thought. She can't-- no, Jeongyeon can't- she's running, but she's not getting any closer-

 

"Mina!" Jeongyeon screams, and then she goes down, Sana's knife slipping into her neck with a practiced ease that sends bile rushing up Mina's throat in sheer horror.

 

She doesn't make it to Sana. Nayeon steps in the way, quickly, and Mina collides off her, Nayeon pulling her in by the hand and locking both her hands behind her back before she throws Mina off her. Mina lands hard, aching from the humiliation and the fear filling her. Jeongyeon is dying, _dying_ only metres from her, and she can't just-

 

Mina tries to get up, arms throbbing and red where Nayeon had grabbed her. Her knees buckle under her like that of a baby deer's when she realizes that it's no use. Jeongyeon is going to die.

 

Sana is still on top of Jeongyeon, stabbing, Mina can hear the sounds of her knife going in and out of Jeongyeon's throat. Mina thinks she can hear laughing, wicked and shrill.

 

Nayeon looks at her with a soft smile, making no attempt to stop Mina.

 

"Go," Nayeon says soundlessly.

 

-

 

Mina crashes into Momo on her way out, the girl gripping her tight and shushing her as Mina shivers in her grip. She tries to tear away from Momo, too reminiscent of the way Nayeon had handled her.

 

Oh, God - Jeongyeon -

 

"It's okay," Momo shushes her, running a soothing hand down Mina's back. Mina shakes and cries, finally finding all the tears that she's been holding back. Jeongyeon's body is unmoving in the Cornucopia, she can see Sana throwing her head back to laugh. She and Nayeon are engaged in a heated liplock, tearing at each others' clothes.

 

"She's dead," she sobs, crying into Momo's shoulder. She feels impossibly weak, useless. She couldn't save Jeongyeon when she had to-

  
"Oh, God," Momo exhales, her grip on Mina's shoulders getting tighter. Her gaze is fixated on what's happening in the Cornucopia, and by the sound of her reaction, it's nothing pretty. Mina whimpers, not wanting to look.

 

"Oh, God, Mina, look what's happening."

-

 

"Nayeonnie," Sana whines when they break apart. Her mouth tastes like blood, but she loves it, grinning down at Nayeon as Nayeon sinks to her knees. "I'll miss you _so_ much, okay?"

 

"I love you," Nayeon sighs, baring her throat as Sana blesses her with her faint touches, soft and barely-there. Her eyes are half-lidded, and the feeling of euphoria going through her right now is undescribable.

 

The look in her eyes... it's one of pure submission, Sana notes. Nayeon's adorable, even if she thinks she isn't, as she's repeatedly refuted the past few days.

 

"You too," she murmurs, running her fingers across Nayeon's jaw, and then Sana's slashing across Nayeon's throat, the older girl choking and slumping forward as Sana keeps going, sawing hard through bone and skin.

 

She's realized something - that Nayeon would rather die than be without Sana.

 

And really, no one deserves to handle Nayeon's beautiful body as much as Sana does. 

 

She presses the tip of her knife into Nayeon's stomach hesitantly, almost grimacing in the direction of the Capitol cameras before she puts her strength into it. Nayeon's flesh gives way to muscle and blood, the remaining District One tribute shuddering in her grasp but not struggling. Rather, she relaxes completely, giving herself in heart and soul.

 

Sana whimpers happily, feeling the darkness consume her completely.


	8. just love me right

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look forward to the epilogue after this :) we're almost there!

This is how he's humiliated - with Nayeon dropping dead in front of him, inches from victory, and Minatozaki Sana standing up and walking away, blood on her lips.

 

He lifts his head, anger tiwsting his features brutally. He's handsome, and he knows it - a fact that has made him all too popular with the Capitol.

 

He hates these damn Games.

 

He finds the woman he was looking for. "Did she just..."

 

All eyes are on him, taunting, goading him on, as his question hangs in the air. He can only imagine what they think. Did he just lose the most valuable and popular tribute in the Games because he couldn't save her from her crazy ally-cum-girlfriend? That's what they're asking, and that's what he doesn't want to answer.

 

The other mentor shrugs, "She didn't have a choice, Taeyong."

 

She doesn't care about Taeyong's tributes, of course - only the fact that her tribute is one step closer to victory. Her eyes sparkle with promises of Victory Tours and showing off her star tribute. They're family, outside of these Games - but as long as they remain in the control room, they're enemies. Taeyong can't forget that.

 

He pushes himself away from the circle of mentors - nearly all of them have left, some, like Doyoung, having disconnected himself completely after the loss of his tributes, the shock of losing them within minutes of each other too much for him to handle. Others, like Jonghyun, keep themselves busy by gluing their eyes to the screens, jotting down notes, seeing how they can improve next year. It's a never-ending cycle, and Taeyong hates being in it and himself for being trapped.  
  
And if the mentor manages to bring Sana home, then what? Sana will lose her mind within a week of her Victory Tour ending, once Snow calls her in to force her to sell her body. Then she'll be no better than any of them, just as broken and half-fledged as they are.

 

They've made a fool of him once again.

 

He's about to head back to his quarters to rest when-

 

 _There's still a way you can win this_.

 

He shakes his head. He's thinking like a tribute again, alone and afraid in the roughest arena in the history of the Games, clawing at strings. At least his Hunger Games were relatively predictable - there were no sudden killings of popular Career tributes who were slated to win, for one. In fact, it'd been so routine that the biggest rumour to come out of it was that a sponsor bought Taeyong's victory.

 

He can't buy Nayeon a victory now, but he can guarantee a loss.

 

He turns back to face his screen. Messages from sponsors are sitting in his inbox, promises of money devoted to helping Nayeon going unused. The only thing Taeyong had used the money for was to buy Nayeon more knives at the feast, and a lump sum remains.

 

He sits down, beginning to type.

 

-

 

"So how do you feel about your sister making it to the top three?"

 

Their dog is barking, but he raises his voice above the cacophony of sounds coming from outside, reporters and animals alike, "I'm happy for her! I want to see her again."

 

Momo's brother blinks hard, looking up at his parents and nodding when his father whispers something into his ear. He looks a little more tearful, inhaling a broken breath in a manner most tragic, as little brothers who want their sisters back home are wont to do.  
  
"We all do."

 

-

 

A group of workers from District Eight sit at a bar, knocking back pitchers of beer and booing when the interview for the District Five tribute is played. Any airtime spent on others is less for Mina, they reason.

 

"It's been years," a middle-aged man clears his throat. His eyes are crinkled with delight and anticipation, at the thought of being able to welcome home a victor for probably only the second time in his lifetime. "Ya think we can make it?"

 

He looks to his junior for an answer, and the young man takes a calculated sip, thinking hard before replying.

 

Spirits are high, and he's no different. After all, it's the first time in a decade where a tribute from their district has made it into the top three. Imagine that - the top three! They have a shot at this this year, and no matter how much they hate the Capitol's games, they know to hate the game and not the player.

  
On the screen, their shining hope shivers into the crook of the District Five girl's shoulder. They'd all seen how Mina had almost killed the same girl a few days ago, and how it has come down to them finding refuge in each other. He knows that she is stronger than she lets in on.

 

"Absolutely." he murmurs.

 

END OF PART TWO

 

 

 

PART THREE

 

The Cornucopia is cold and silent, blood still drying on the steps of starting plates where tributes had gotten stabbed on, discarded weapons from children who realized too late that they wouldn't need them. There is none of the life that Sana had taken so much excitement in extinguishing, in its place silence.

  
She wakes up with a burning ache in her stomach, and turns to her side before she realizes that Nayeon isn't here anymore. She's in a coffin somewhere, being packaged and embalmed neatly before being sent back to her District, lost in eternal sleep.

 

She had gone so gently, Sana thinks, had simply let Sana take her life. She drives herself insane with the thought of Nayeon's lips, her touch, _her._ How much she had protected Sana.  

  
And when Sana selfishly, greedily needs comfort - there is none.

  
She just cries, slipping into insanity until the sun rises. She talks herself in and out of the white noise in her ears, until her voice feels like it might scar with the exertion she's putting it through. Everyday details from their days in the arena become monumental events that Sana replays in her head until she can't breathe.

 

She forces herself to replay conversations and happenings until she gets every detail right. The colour of her eyes was dark brown, almost black - or were they closer to hazel? The left... no, right side of her mouth would quirk up when Sana'd done something that she liked, and she'd give Sana a short but adoring compliment, for Sana to shiver with pleasure at.

  
Short lapses in judgement are blown up to become the grandest of offenses. The crimes she's committed are unforgivable, and like this, with her ears blurring out all sound and her eyes welling with tears, this is how she goes mad.  

 

_And then there were three._

 

-

 

The silver parachute descends just as Mina blinks herself awake, heart heavy with the thought of what today will entail.

 

Momo is sound asleep beside her, fists clutching onto the fabric of her sleeping bag tightly, her face twisted into a grimace as she rides out whatever dream she's having. Mina decides to let her sleep a litte longer - it's the last day of one of their lives. And with the day that they'd lived through yesterday? They deserve it.  

 

Her hands are trembling as she pulls the package from the parachute, weary even after having a relatively fitful night's rest. It's trauma-induced and a product of living this long in the Games, nothing that any amount of sleep will heal. Perhaps these scars will never heal. Perhaps they will not get a chance to.

  
The note is simple, but sends chills down Mina's spine anyway with how brutal it is. It is the first sponsor gift she has received in the span of the Games, and for it to be something as expensive as this -- Mina doesn't want to think about how much this had to cost. Dozens of sponsors must've collaborated to send this to her.

 

_Mina,_

_A gift from District 1._

_Get rid of her._

_-MB_

 

The crossbow glitters in the dark, sleek lightweight metal, a quiver of arrows laying beneath it, and Mina feels the same horrible feeling that she had when she saw Jeongyeon die rise in her throat. It's a gorgeous weapon, a deep ocean blue, the same colour as the waves she's seen back home.

 

Home. This is her ticket back home. Her mentor, and by extension, District One, is giving her her chance to win this.

 

 _A gift from District One._ If Mina closes her eyes tight enough, she can imagine the District One mentor grimly accepting sponsors to send down weapons - anything to take down the girl who killed Im Nayeon. Can hear his disgusted whispers as he plots against Sana. He must hate her.

 

(Mina wonders if he really knows how Nayeon surrendered herself to Sana, how she didn't even bother fighting back when Sana slaughtered her. It was merciless, but Nayeon didn't give any indication that she hated it. Is that enough justification to let Sana get away scot-free?)

 

Why her? Did the sponsors know that she'd seen Sana kill Jeongyeon, and then Nayeon, giving her adequate motivation to want to go after Sana?

 

Of course they knew. She'd been on the ground, trying to no avail to help Jeongyeon. She'd been in the frame as Sana had wrapped her arms around Nayeon, the dying girl relaxing into her touch like a suckling baby to its mother.

 

She'd been there for it all, and they're just exploiting it, the righteous anger that's been bubbling in the pit of her stomach for the longest time. Mina thinks of the paralleled anger of the sponsors, the Capitol residents who'd bet millions on Nayeon winning the Games. Sana has humiliated them in the worst way possible, and for that -- they have to see Sana die.  

 

She's not a puppet. The Capitol can't just _buy_ her over.

 

She rereads Moonbyul's note, the grim tone of her mentor betraying her intentions. Her mentor sounds like she'd been reading from instructions when she wrote the note - there is none of the warmth she'd received when they first met. They're all puppets.  

 

But it doesn't change the fact that Mina could kill two - no, three - birds with one stone. Advance in the Games, avenge Jeongyeon, and satisfy the Capitol enough for them to maybe send more silver packages.

 

Jeongyeon would find this ridiculous, she knows. She's probably writhing in her grave, urging Mina not to give in to the whims of the Capitol.

 

But Jeongyeon also told her that one of them would be getting out of here. And really, are you really a puppet if you get something out of it too? Or just a co-investor? She can't afford to be weak this time.

 

 _I'm not weak,_ Mina tells herself, picking up the bow and slinging the quiver across her back. She can almost hear the clock ticking down, and hugs the weapon to her chest.

 

 _No more running._  

 

-

 

"Mina."

 

Momo watches Mina shove the last of her things into her backpack, acknowledging Momo's words with a soft bob of her head.

  
"What do we do?" Momo asks, and suddenly she's close to tears. The feeling in her heart is uncomparable to anything she's felt so far, and if she had to pick a word, it'd be fear. Pure, unadulterated fear.

 

But of what? Mina's let her go once, and Momo believes that she won't hurt her. She stands a chance of getting out of this. She can go home after today. She could be home within the next twelve hours, she tells herself, so she has nothing to be afraid of.

 

She doesn't know where Mina got the weapon in her hands from, but she's not about to ask. Mina looks as uncomfortable as she is, maybe even more.

  
They're just kids. Kids who had lives that weren't the most perfect before this, but definitely not the worst, either. None of them - not even Sana  - deserved for this to happen to them.

  
Mina sits back on her haunches. Her eyes are devoid of any emotion, though her bottom lip is trembling. "I don't... I don't know. I just want to go home."

 

"Me too," Momo whispers. They both know that it is dangerous to dream of a future beyond these hellish Games - and doing it now, when they are close but still bound by an alliance, is even more dangerous. It's deluding them into thinking that this isn't mutually exclusive. Reality has it in its cards - one will not prosper without the failure of another.  

 

But it is also the only thing keeping them together and from total madness, and so it is a necessary evil.

 

"I miss my mother," Mina says, and then she's burying her face in her hands, small sobs wracking her equally small frame. Momo doesn't remember what Mina looked like before the Games, during training, but she couldn't have been this frail. This girl looks like she might fall apart from the recoil of the crossbow alone.

 

She doesn't say anything to Mina, only looks away. Her eyes are dry, only because she knows that the worst is yet to come.

 

-

 

She breathes, and the arena breathes with her.  
  
Now, in the deadly silence that the absence of tributes offers, Sana sees the arena for what it truly is - a living entity controlled by the Gamemakers, with its own whims and fancies and thoughts. It is a cruel master, but it is her only friend in these Games. In fact, aside from serving as a friend and a mentor, it might up its game by becoming a deathbed.

 

Not for her, she tells herself. For the two of them. Myoui Mina and Hirai Momo. It's them who'll face the wrath of the arena, and Sana who will direct its angers towards them.

  
She's losing conviction when she repeats it out loud to herself, the words being spit back into her face by the fickle arena, and she knows that this is what true madness is.

 

-

 

It still feels wrong to proceed without closure - Momo wants to give them a good show, to let them feel the tiniest bit of guilt for supporting this hellhole of an entertainment series. If the Capitol makes jokes of their lives, turns them into walking zombies for their benefit, then the only way for Momo to fight back is to find happiness when she has been promised none.

 

"If I die later-"

 

"Don't say that," Mina whispers, eyes edgy and shaky.

 

But Momo presses on, knowing that this is a conversation they need to have. They're too close to the end for hushed words and whispers.

 

"If I die," Momo repeats, "Tell my family that I love them. When you visit my district during the Tour. I want them to hear it from your lips. Pet my dog if you get the chance to - he's a terrier, he'll know that we were friends."

 

Mina seems to be emboldened by Momo's words, because she nods determinedly. "And if I die-- well." The thought seems to choke her up, but she soldiers on bravely. "Take care of yourself."

 

Momo nods seriously, and then laughs. "How do we know that it won't be Sana who wins this? She's going to tell our families that she loved every moment of watching us die."

 

"She won't."

  
"Why-" Momo seems to reconsider her pessimistic question, nodding eagerly. "You know what? You're right."

 

-

 

Sana doesn't _look_ like she's in any state to watch them die, when they finally track her down. She's resting on a pile of weapons, toying with a knife in between her hands - Mina thinks she sees one of those throwing knives that Nayeon was so good with. Figures.

 

She doesn't even look up when Mina accidentally rustles a bush, only rocking back and forth and kissing the blade of the knife. Her hair is a mess. _She's_ a mess.

 

This should be an easy kill. But she knows better than to underestimate Sana - she has to be ready to reload after the first arrow, because it's no guarantee that Sana will go down with one strike. Hell, she's survived more than that, from what Dahyun did to her yesterday before she died. Mina quietly prays for Dahyun's spiritual wellbeing - without her, Mina would be having a harder time right now.

 

She locks eyes with Momo. The other girl is biting on her lip, but smiles reassuringly when Mina looks back to her for comfort. _It's okay_ , she mouths.

 

Mina lets the arrow fly.

 

-

 

Mina nocks another arrow before Sana has recovered from hopping out of the way of the first one. The deranged tribute looks up, assessing the situation before she grabs multiple knives from the sleeve that Mina guesses belonged to Nayeon.

 

Sana isn't good at throwing knives - she's relied solely on combat at close quarters the entire of the Games to take down tributes - but the raw power she puts behind in throwing the knife at Mina is enough to leave her scrambling.

 

"Go! Go!" Momo shrieks, and then Sana raises her hand to block the next shot, her eyes calculating where Mina's arrow will hit. Even in the addled haze she's in, she's sharp, and that may just be what costs Momo and Mina their lives today.

  
The arrow goes straight through her left hand, stopping inches from her face.

 

-

  
Without a break in character, Sana rips the arrow out of her hand. It makes a horrible cracking noise as it comes out, the flared head of the projectile hooking on flesh and causing her hand to spurt blood as it's removed, but Sana doesn't make a sound, only looks disinterested when she can get it out enough to throw it on the floor.

 

She looks at Momo and Mina, but her eyes are wholly unfocused. At this rate, she's practically a dead woman walking.

  
But she is still a threat, and so Mina draws her knives, leaving the crossbow slung across her bac in the meantime. It's heavy, but she'll need it later. Not now, though. Sana has begun to move, and Mina knows that it'll be of no use for her to take potshots at Sana while she's still fidgeting and darting around at the speed of light.

  
"You're crazy," Momo pants. Sana doesn't give any indication that she heard her - it might just be the trick of the light, but Mina thinks she can see blood leaking from Sana's ears. Was it the doing of the bomb yesterday? She saw Sana groaning and clutching at her head - it must've affected her hearing enough to cause deafness.

 

Sana hurls another knife at Momo. Momo smacks it out of the air with her dagger coolly, not even blinking at the clang of metal against metal.

 

"Rush her at the same time," Momo says lowly. "She's too far gone to know what's going to hit her."

 

"Okay," Mina agrees.

 

"On three."

 

"Three..."  
  
"Two..."

 

"One."

 

-

 

Sana slips between Momo's fingertips just as Momo makes contact with her, Momo's knife making the briefest of contact with Sana's clothes before the Career tribute twists. Fabric is ripped away and Sana makes a positively inhuman sound.

  
She gnashes her teeth, whimpering when Mina sinks a knife into her back. It's a shallow wound, but it affects her nevertheless.

 

Still, she manages to brush Mina away, grabbing at Momo. Her arm is locked around Momo's waist, holding her in place as she giggles incoherently into Momo's ear. She forces a knife up Momo's throat, and Momo cries out past the weapon in her throat.

 

"Mina," Momo rasps, terrified. Mina doesn't know where to look - she can see blood leaking from Sana's back where Mina's knife had made contact - the straight edge of her knife is dripping with Sana's blood. The sight of it makes her head spin. She has to help Momo, before it's too late. She can't let her go like she let Jeongyeon go.

 

She pulls the trigger and lets another arrow go, staggering from the recoil. This one pierces firmly through Sana's back, protruding through her front, and Mina forces herself to get up, half to get to Momo's aid and half to savour the reaction on Sana's face.

 

Too close.

 

-

 

Sana's knife lands its mark squarely in Mina's eyeball, and she screams, backing down. The shot from her crossbow is still buried deep in Sana's chest, and she fumbles with the weapon, another shot going off and landing with a solid _thunk_ in Sana's abdomen before Mina drops like a stone, clutching at her eye, scratching at the skin around in it in a feverish attempt to alleviate the pain.

 

She screams like she's on fire, her eyeball exploding with a wet _Pop!_ and leaking down her face. It's hot, and Mina vomits when she realizes what she's tasting is her own eye. It covers her lips, mixing with the blood, and Mina screams.

 

-

 

"No," Sana moans, going to grab Momo again. The girl is struggling with her own wounds too, the knife in her throat causing her what Sana imagines is an unimaginable amount of pain. For once, Sana finds no pleasure in it, only hellish devastation, the same amount of agony being inflicted in her stomach.

 

Momo, seemingly not feeling the pain of the wound, pushes back against Sana, stabbing her squarely in the chest, past the arrow that Mina shot. She's trembling, trying to hold Sana down as the Career tribute struggles and wails in her grip. The fight is still in her, but Momo doesn't seem to care, not about what Sana wants, or the knife buried up her throat.

 

She chokes back blood, raising her knife high in the air. Sana tries to roll away just as the knife lands in her chest again, and this results in blood exploding in the air, spurting out and across the ground as Momo's knife digs a massive scar across her chest. The wound goes deeper than Momo would've imagined possible, and Sana begins to tremble, toppling onto her back and continuing to shake.

 

Once Sana has stopped shaking, Momo collapses beside her, taking her last, rattling breaths.

 

-

 

She can see Nayeon beckoning to her, sitting atop a throne of bones and blood as she stares lovingly down at Sana. Her throat is no longer dripping with blood and exposed like it was yesterday - she's whole again, eyes glittering and as hazel as Sana remembers them as.

 

 _Come to me_ , she says, and although Sana can't hear, she knows what Nayeon means. She's known all this time.

 

 _I will, I promise_ , Sana says back, and it's a deal.  
  


Nayeon pulls her close, inhaling deeply when they're finally pressed together, when they're with each other again. Laughter in the great beyond. There's nothing but Nayeon and light and happiness, and then there's nothing at all, just the silence that Sana now treasures. She forgets Mina, forgets Momo, forgets everything that she thought had mattered to her. What's a Victory Tour when she has the rest of eternity to sink into?

 

She's going, she's going, she's going... she's gone.  

 

-

 

Mina drops her crossbow, crawling over desperately to Momo, her knees aching and eye searing with agony. Every muscle in her body is aching, and all she wants to do is roll over and fall asleep. But if she falls asleep -- there is no guarantee that she will wake up.

 

"Momo," she rattles out, and Momo looks up at her. The knife is buried up to the hilt in her, and Mina knows that Momo will not survive this.  

 

Momo laughs, eyes clouding over. Mina can barely see her through the dirt and blood on their faces, and the way her eye is stinging, vision rapidly being destroyed by the wound in her eye. She can feel the liquid from her eye socket dripping down her face, but forces herself to hang on a little longer, clawing back into the land of the living. Momo can't die alone, and she can't die only to have Mina die as well.

 

"I'm still here," Mina promises, voice cracking. Momo's hand is so, so cold. "I'll be here as long as you need me."

 

Momo nods slowly. The tribute who had placed third in the preliminary rankings, who had fought her way away from the Careers, who escaped them and who ended up saving Mina's life -- even so close to death, Momo has this look on her face that tells Mina that she doesn't think she's that big of a deal. Which is wrong. Momo has done _so much_ , and Mina digs her fingernails into her palm as a reminder. She can never forget Momo and how selfless she was.

 

What are they? Not best friends - perhaps not even good friends, maybe not even _friends_. They're just kids. Kids who ended up together and fighting for their lives.

 

Mina smiles bitterly. That wouldn't be an inaccurate description of who they are.

 

"Of course," Momo suddenly wheezes, "I don't want... you... to live with the thought that... one of your friends died. So... let's... switch it up." She offers Mina another tired smile, eyelids fluttering as if she's trying to fight back sleep.

 

"Momo," Mina whispers, tears dripping onto Momo's face. The sight in Mina's right eye is completely gone now, but she sees Momo through the haze in her left eye, as if she can see perfectly.

 

She knows what Momo's talking about - she doesn't want Mina to live with the regret of having watched Momo to die. So they aren't friends. They're... allies. Allies who had to separate when the time came. Yes, that's who they are.

  
"Got... it?"

 

"Yes," Mina sobs.

 

Momo grins, eyes focusing straight on Mina's working one. "Good... I... never knew you... not in this timeline... but I suspect that we were once... friends."

  
Then her grip slackens, and Mina screams until she blacks out.  

 


	9. epilogue - the war

 

Some of her nightmares are quieter than others, some shorter, but there isn't a night that passes without them. They invade into her space, rob her of her feelings and cage her back in the arena until she's crying, clawing at her sheets, begging to be brought home.  
  
She goes to sit at the rooftop when they become too much - only this time, even the ghost of Jeongyeon does not deign to sit with her.

 

 _I made it,_ she wants to scream, _Are you happy now?_

 

-

 

 _I made it,_ she tells the memory of Jeongyeon. It hangs around the twelfth floor of the Tribute Building and the rooftop, where she's asked to return one last time. (They only agree to her requests because of the look in her eye - that she will not rest until she has what she wants. That she has nothing left to lose.)  
  
Jeongyeon does not respond.

 

 _I made it,_ she tells Momo's ghost. It lingers around Mina, her presence intensifying when Mina closes in on herself and gives in to the bouts of panic that plague her. It echoes her screams, blood dripping from its throat and hissing out that she has no right to be afraid, not when she is a decorated victor and adored by the masses for surviving through the Hunger Games. She is alive, and she has escaped the arena with what twenty-three others could not.

 

Momo responds, but the ghost of her is so removed from who she was that Mina cannot bear to assign Momo's name to it.

 

 _I made it_ , she tells Sana. Sana's spirit isn't as omnipresent as Momo's is, but it appears when Mina is at her happiest, when she is so, so close to convincing herself that she is normal again, when she thinks she has shaken off the horrors of the Games. Then, Sana is there, manifesting itself into a blood-soaked spirit and reminding her that she is a victor. She is neither District Eight nor Capitol, and for that transgression, no one will take her in. The districts view her as a mutt from the Capitol, and the Capitol will throw her out once a younger, more malleable victor comes along.

 

Sana tells her what she needs to hear, and perhaps in that respect it is Sana who is the best of them all.

 

-

 

Sana who took her sight. Sana who inflicted a wound even the team of Capitol surgeons couldn't fix. The sight in her right eye will never return, and neither will her depth perception or her humanity.

 

She's adorable. Mina the soft-spoken, but adorably freakish-looking Victor who will never have all her sight back. Everyone she meets wants to fix her, or has a revolutionary new treatment that will have her seeing like new again. No matter the fact that she would rather not be able to see anything - waking up to herself in the mirror is the single worst thing that came out from the Games - or the fact that none of them know what they're talking about.

 

She's a freak, and she knows it the best of everyone.

 

-

 

The Victory Tour is easily forgotten. The ghosts are not that strong yet, so they only whisper into Mina's ear at night, when she sits up and cries into her hands because she'd watched Sana dig her knife into Jeongyeon's throat once again. She doesn't remember which district is which, only that she is not part of this world any longer. She gives the same address in every district, looking down in a manner that everyone thinks is respectful but is actually just because she is too tired to do anything else.

 

I am very sorry for whatever has happened to your children, and they remain in my thoughts eternally. I wish all of you a good day.

  
That's what's written on her cards, when Moonbyul prepares her for the stops on the Victory Tour. She has them memorized by the time they reach District Three, but she still grips onto them like a lifeline, ready to catch her if she falls into the unforgiving sea of people beneath.

 

They hate her, and glare hatefully at her when she finishes her address. How could they not? Her presence only means the absence of their children. They think she lies, that she's just reading off cards.

 

They're only half right, because she doesn't wish them a good day. What she _isn't_ lying about is that they remain in her thoughts eternally. Maybe they will remain with her till even their own families have forgotten about them, till she evaporates into stardust, little seeds of their souls planted firmly into Mina's consciousness. She knows what they want, feeds them bits of her soul when no one else is watching so that no one else will have to.

 

Mina operates as herself and twenty-three other people, and that's all she has to say about it.

 

-

 

(She tells Momo's family that Momo loved them with her whole heart, and for the first time in the whole Victory Tour - they look like they believe her.)

 

-

 

The feeling of mentoring is impossible. Mina cannot bear the sensation of returning to the Capitol, of facing the tribute building yet again, but she knows she must, if only to put on a strong face for her tributes. Her tributes know her story, but they pretend not to, the female tribute all smiles as Mina brings her through training.

 

Mina doesn't have a shred of faith in her, and is quickly proved correct when she dies an hour into the Games, the merciless District Two tribute ripping her into pieces with his teeth and a box cutter.

  
_That should've been me_ , Mina tells herself.

 

-

 

She goes crazy, losing track of time for days, then weeks, then months at a time. She goes to sleep on Monday and wakes up on Sunday, and by then her lavish house is broken down, the plants that she'd bought in District Ten in memory of Jihyo wilting from not being watered. She sits down with lunch in January and wakes up on the kitchen floor a month later, with no recollection of the time in between.

 

If people thought Sana was bad in the arena, what must they think of her now? She cannot keep a linear view of things, the numbers on her calendar good for nothing - she lost interest in things like time a long while ago. Now there is nothing to accompany her but the crushing silence, and she cannot make peace with that.

 

-

 

The Capitol makes healing impossible.

 

Mina is carted off to rewatch her Games the night after she wins them, and sits through a three hour long recap of them. She doesn't need a playback of them, but everyone needs one, apparently, and so she must sit there. Everyone looks like they expect her to coo appreciatively when a good kill is made, but the truth is that she is sick to her stomach. She is being used for entertainment, and every bone in her body feels betrayed.

 

The longer the rerun goes on, the more doubtful she is of her deserving her victory. She's always known that she didn't deserve it, that Momo should be in her place, but it solidifies when she rewatches the Games, snipped together and highlighting only the most exciting parts of the hellish five days.

 

Mina doesn't make any kills in the clip, of course - the closest she goes to doing so is when she has Momo on the other end of her knife, and that ends with her letting Momo go and running away. The near-death experiences are higher in number. Whoever edited this clip has been generous with highlighting how disappointing of a victor Mina is.

 

"What a thrilling Games," Caesar Flickerman says when it's over, and Mina nods numbly, the roar of the audience and the cheer of her name deafening.

 

And this is how she is ripped open over and over again, her wounds not being allowed to heal, no matter how hard she tries.

 

-

 

Her arrival home is a giant party. She has never seen this many people clustered in one place, not ever, not even when one of their hundreds of textile factories burned down and there were all those men within. They are drinking, eating, celebrating - and it is all because of her. For a split second, she is glad that she won, if only to give her district food and drink for a year. She has suffered and gone through so much, but the district fluorishes at her expense.

  
The euphoria dissipates quickly. Even in her own district, she is not allowed to feel at home. She is paraded in front of everyone, made to repeat her address to Yuna's parents, and then shucked off to the square, where she sits at the head of a grand table. There are people bustling to meet her, the Mayor and the Head Peacekeeper who look at her with stars in their eyes. As if she's any more than a broken victor.

 

She excuses herself halfway through the meal to go throw up.

 

-

 

Moonbyul slaps her hard when she first wakes up in a medical facility with no memory of the previous day, long after the Games have concluded and the festivities have died down. She is shaking with rage, and as Mina comes to, she realizes why she's reacting like that. The bedsheets are cold under her body, and her mouth is drier than a desert.

 

"You are never, _ever_ going to do that again," Moonbyul screams, and her voice is terse and her eyes are narrowed.

 

Mina remembers the pills, remembers the morphine and how she had slipped away the previous night, the way the Avoxes had burst into her room the moment she slipped into unconsciousness. (They are watching her all the time, even if they claim innocence, Mina should've known better.) She remembers and then she realizes that winning the Games comes stipulated with the clause that she never tries to take control over her own life or death away.

 

She signed the right to her life away when she escaped the arena with it, and that's it.

 

"Don't do it," Moonbyul whispers, and Mina only learns why she must not when her mother ends up dead the following day.

  
-

 

She's considered jumping from the Tribute Building, of course - but then her ghost would haunt the place alongside Jeongyeon's, and how sad would that be?

 

-

 

She tries fighting back at first, with morphine that orders Sana to be silent and pills that make Jeongyeon talk to her when she ends up on the rooftop of the Tribute Building, rocking her legs back and forth. She does it because she still has the fighting spirit that she thought splintered in the arena, because she still has faith in herself.

  
These hopes are unfounded - she spirals into addiction, and brings herself out of it screaming and shaking. The nightmares become longer, throwing her into pits of darkness for days at a time, and Mina can no longer distinguish between reality and the depths of her imagination.

 

-

 

"Thank you," she murmurs to the Avox, pressing the button for the first floor. The Tribute Building is empty at the moment, in the window period where there is no one, only Avoxes scrubbing the last traces of the long-dead tributes from the rooms (not her Games - her Games were five years ago) and Mina finds that it is here where she's attracted back to eventually. Like a lost dog finding their way home, Mina returns her eventually. She lost District Eight as a home a long time ago.

  
She studies her reflection the whole way down - who knew she looked so gaunt? She's not surprised. There are days where she refuses to eat, and those outnumber the days where she can. The nightmares of Chaeyoung and Jihyo vomiting blood don't exactly help, and Mina prefers to lock herself in her home and talk to the voices over doing anything productive.

  
Her brother swings by sometimes, to pass her groceries and food, but even he's grown afraid of the way she sleeps with a knife, or how every vase in her house is broken because she couldn't stand the way Sana's ghost would slide out of them.

 

-

 

And this is conformity - seven years after the 80th Hunger Games, Myoui Mina makes her peace with the demons within. There is no escaping from them, but she has stopped fighting them. She wakes up when their screams echo through her, and falls asleep for another week when they jeer her off the stage.

 

At this point, she has watched Jeongyeon die so many times it becomes like routine. Sana pounces on her - check. She lifts her hand - check. She stabs Jeongyeon in the throat - check. Jeongyeon dies a messy, bloody death, calling out for Mina - check.

 

She has barely any recollection of her original Games, only the mangled monstrosity that is the bedrock of her memories.

 

-

 

This is what the life of a victor is like - there is no victory in winning the Hunger Games, nothing even close.

 

There is only white noise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaand it's over!! i'm thankful to have received sm praise and love for this on twitter (yes, i have seen everything said about my fic on twitter ahaha) and tumblr alike. thank you for reading this and i hope you enjoyed reading it as much as i enjoyed writing this. do leave a comment!! and i'll be back soon :)

**Author's Note:**

> @acousticnayeon on twt


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